It Takes A Village To Raise A Child
by MagentaQuinn
Summary: Some people say it takes a village to raise a child. Does a mother, an aunt, two drag queens, one drag king, two older sisters, two somewhat-normal next door neighbors, and a Rocky Horror shadowcast count? (Final story in Diary Of A Groupie Series!)
1. Chapter 1

A/N I love you all. It was really emotional last night when I wrote the last chapter. Mostly because Friends was on, and it was part one and two of The Last One, and I cried LIKE A FUCKING BABY! And any true fan to a television show cries when they see the series, (or sometimes season,) finale. YES YOU DO! If you are lost, I'm catching up at the beginning of this. This is now in Frank's POV.

EDIT: 24/1/2013 And since I seem to be the only one on the entire planet of fanfiction to say this... HAPPY WEDDING RICHARD! I HOPE YOU AND YOUR NEW WIFEY WILL BE VERY HAPPY TOGETHER!

* * *

I sighed. I could only imagine what she could say to Riff Raff. From what Columbia told me, she would forgive him, but when she woke up, she said she was heading with me. I looked at Riff Raff. "Riff Raff, Magenta has something to tell you."

"I'm going to New York with Frank. I think that he will take better care of me, and Columbia is moving there soon, and I know you read the note, and it couldn't be more true. I love you. I just don't think this will work out. And Frank has a girl, Columbia has a man, I may adopt a few cats. I have three kids, get maybe two cats, do up my hair real big, and start talking to them when Frank's date comes." I laughed a little under my breath. She would have to be a lot more weird to freak them out.

"So... You're leaving this time?"

"Come on girls, let's pack you for NYC." Columbia led the girls out, and mouthed something to Genta.

She sighed. "Yeah. I guess I am."

"I don't think I was ready when I came back." I crossed my ankles, looking at their confrontation, almost from outside a window.

"Yeah... I don't think you were either. Maybe Sonny could hook you up with the therapist she goes to."

"Maybe. So... Are we going to get a divorce?"

"Do you think there is any future for us?"

"I don't really know..."

"Riff Raff Vitus. Do you see a future in us?" Magenta's eyes were intense as fire.

"Well..." They looked at each other, and Riff Raff sighed. "No. I don't. I don't think I could change."

"Have Janet send the papers to Frank's apartment She knows the address." She stood up, and walked to the bathroom, and Riff Raff started to pack.

"Is that it? You're just going to let her leave?"

"Frank, there's not much I can do..."

"Go'an fight for her!"

"Frank-"

"I see the way you look at her. Don't let her go without a fight. I'll send our address to the castle."

He was silent for a moment, but finally finished the bag he was working on. "Thanks, Frank. You **are** a hot dog, and you better not try to hurt her, Frank Furter."

"Well, I'll try my best." I laughed a little, but Genta cut me off by walking out.

"You're all packed up. I can send the rest of your clothes with the papers."

"Okay." She sounded hoarse, like she had been crying. She walked over and hugged him. "I love you. We can work out something with Frank, if you want custody."

"No... Not really. He could spend a few weeks with me each year, but that's all."

"Oh-okay." We all walked to the bathroom, and sat on the tub until Columbia came with the twins. "I love you. Take care of Sophie. And come soon. I need you to talk to."

"I love you too."

"As friends, right?" Columbia burst out laughing.

"Oh my god. He's not crying!"

"Is he deaf?" She hit Riff Raff on the shoulder.

"Probably. What did you guys decide?" Magenta looked at her, and somehow she got it. "Oh. Okay. I'll come by later, help you get situated."

Magenta helped the girls in the tub, and I started to talk to them. "You girls are brave. Riff Raff won't live with us for a while, but you guys haven't known him for that long, so I don't think it will bother you. Have either of you heard of New York City? Well, that's where we are going. We have two extra bedrooms, so you two will have to share a room. You will be safe with me. What Riff Raff has told you, some is true, some is not. I did whip them, but I wasn't evil. Riff Raff just didn't like me because I tried to take your mum. It's not your fault that they split up. It's Riff Raff's." Pat smiled. We sat there for a moment, while Genta was whispering to Riff Raff. She pulled away, and they were both crying. Everyone started to sob, and that's when I knew it wasn't meant to be. They would get back, but Riff Raff needed help first. She got in, waved, and we faded away. From Transexual, to New York.

We got into the bathroom in my apartment, and I stepped out first. Pat and Ciffa scrambled over the edge of the tub, and I helped Genta over. She looked around my bright purple bathroom. "Nice." I laughed, and walked out of the bathroom. "Shit. Hey, you guys, this is Magenta Vitus, Patricia and Pacifica Vitus, and Frank Vitus." One of the queens I worked with was here, we called him Bri, his real name was Brian. One of the kings, who's real name Sydney, we just called him Syd. And then three of my normal friends, Lori, Patrick, and Terri.

"Hey."

"She's pretty."

"Hands off Syd, she just got out of a relationship."

"I'm sorry. If you want a shoulder to cry on, baby, I'm right here."

"Are all of your friends like you?"

"Everyone except Patrick and Lori." Magenta rolled her eyes, scoffing.

"I congratulate you. Where should we put the bags?"

"In that room." She walked in there, and I went and got her bags. I brought her bags to her room, and she was just sitting on the bed, with her eyes closed. "Don't mind Syd. She's a little quirky."

"She's a girl? What the hell is wrong with me?"

"What do you mean?"

"The girls in the hospital, her, Columbia! I'm a chick magnet!"

I laughed. "Hey, we're going to the bar!"

He shouted out the door. "You have kater killer?"

"Always!"

"Have fun. If you meet someone, don't bring them here!"

"And if we get shitfaced, don't call you, we know."

They left, and Genta laughed. "What?"

"Nice friends."

"I think so."

"A queen, a king, and three normal people are exactly who I want around my children."

"Well, to make you feel any better, the two normal girls live across the hall."

"Good. I'll probably let the girls around them more. Where's your date?"

"She should be here in a little while." Yeah, Camille would be here soon.

"What's wrong?"

"No, um, nothing's wrong. Camille's awesome."

"I didn't ask that. I know something's wrong now, honey, spill the beans."

"It's nothing... Just lately she's been detached."

"What do you mean?"

"We've stopped being together so much, and she's been spending more time with her kids at her ex-husbands house."

"Maybe she misses them."

"I don't know... She seems distant."

"Maybe." She looked down at her bags. "I should probably unpack."

"I guess I'll help make the crib." I walked over to the big box with a bow on it. A present from Bri.

I spent a few hours working on the crib, before the rest of the gang showed up. Finally Syd came over and put it together. "Next time you need help, my sissy little friend, just call me." I laughed, and walked over to Magenta, who had just finished putting her things on the shelf, getting ready to put Frank in his crib.

"I'm hungry."

"Good luck."

"What do you mean?"

"Like we cook." I rolled my eyes.

"Well I can cook."

"Anything other then dead bodies?"

"Of course." She put Frank in his crib, and walked into the kitchen. I followed her, to make sure they don't eat her alive. She opened up the cabinet, then the fridge, and sighed."You realise you only have bread, lunch meat and condiments, right?"

"That's all we eat other then pizza and when we go out to eat."

"God!" She left the room, I imagine to got to the girls room.

I walked over and sat on the floor. "What happened tonight?"

"Really? You haven't noticed?"

"Not really... What haven't I noticed?"

"Terri's not here. We left her at the bar once she started to bring more guys into the bathroom."

"Slut."

"I know." Magenta walked out.

"Nation is coming over with some clothes and food, because it looks like I'll be the cook. I will slit your throat if I have to stand behind you."

"Gasp! Is this another one?"

"Yes, it's the Genta from the movie. No, she has not met Patricia. Yes, the Nation she mentioned was the Nation from Shock Treatment. And did you just say the w_ord _gasp?" The brunette shrugged.

"Wait... Nation Mckinley?"

"Yeah... Why?"

"No reason..." He shuffled around nervously. We chatted on a few minutes while Genta looked through the cabinets and found a few pots.

"Hmm..." She pawed around for about thirty minutes until we felt the transducer. She sighed, and got up.


	2. Chapter 2

"Frank. I believe we have met."

"We have met briefly. Did you come by to bring the food for Genta?"

"Yeah. Who's your friends?"

"Bri, Syd, Lori, Patrick, and Tori's not here."

"Cross dressers?" She put black paper bags on the counter, and helped Genta put them up.

"Bri's a queen, Syd's a king."

"Sydney?"

"Yeah, and Brian."

"Brian. Huh."

"Um... Yes." He tried to cover up his accent.

"Why are you talking like that?"

"Shut up!"

"No way..." She walked over to Bri. "Brian Schmidt. Looks like that night did more harm then good. Gotten to like more then underwear?" She sat down on the coffee table.

"Hmm... I'm taking a leap in the dark here, but I think you to know each other."

"Yes..." Nation looked at Lori.

"Lori. Nice to meet you. How do you two know each other?"

"He was in high school with a few of my friends. He made fun of me and another girl, so I guilted him into dressing in drag. Well, fishnets, silk, and my younger roommate's bra. And he said he would just wear the underwear."

We laughed a little. "So, how is Carol?"

"Elated once I give her the news." Nation laughed as Brian glared at her.

"I would rather you not tell her... How's that other girl..."

"Rose? She's great, went back to Homosexual, got married, had a baby."

"Umm..."

"Sperm donation, my dear, stupid friend. How did you get from England to here anyway?"

"Well, I wanted to see America, and there was a nice drag show here, I've been working there for a few years."

"I want to know something... You're like thirty something."

"I have a good voice."

"Okay... Nation, you staying?"

"Depends on what you're cooking."

"What d'you think?"

"I'll help." She walked over and got out a pot. I turned to Bri.

"So."

"What Frank?" He glared at me.

"You knew Nation McKinley. And you didn't tell me."

"Yes-"

"I wasn't done."

"Temper Frankie!"

"Sorry Mum!" Genta stuck her tongue out at me. "Anyway, she turned you into a drag queen. You said it was because you were the pussy."

"I didn't exactly say that."

"What did you mean?"

"I meant I showed him, he liked it, we broke up, I remembered how good it felt, and started again."

"Wow..."

"You should of heard him the first time we put him in it. He was delusional or something. By the time we got to the shoes he was giddy." Nation had some chicken in a pan.

We were all laughing, except Bri, who I assume went to check on Tiny Frank. "Genta. Watch'a cookin'?"

"None of your business until you say it correctly."

"I did."

"No, you should say something like, 'Magenta, what are you cooking?"

"You two bicker like brother and sister." Magenta took a deep breath at Syd's comment, Nation put her hand over her mouth, and I just stared.

"Yeah, we probably do. I - I'm going to go check on Frank." She ran into her bedroom.

"Frank... Could you go check on her? I don't want this to burn up and catch your place on fire." I nodded.

"Genta?" I walked into her room, and she was crying on the bed, with Bri patting her back. "Hey, honey, it's okay. First twenty four hours is the hardest."

"Shut up." She waved her arm around, meaning to hit me.

"Hey, watch out. Why don't you tell us what's wrong?"

"Bri-"

"No, it's fine Frank." She got up, and put her hand on Bri's. "I was with my brother for about half my life. We have three children together. Patricia and Pacifica are the twins, and Frank Jr. About a year after the twins were born, Riff Raff, my brother, tried to kill me. I fled to New Zealand, where my ex-wife, Columbia had fled to get out of her abusive relationship. I stayed with her and her foster child for seven years. She actually goes to college here in NYC. But, seven years later, he came and found me, because we convinced him I was dead, we made up, I got pregnant, I freaked out when I figured out, so they threw me a party. This is just two or three weeks after we made up. So, we invited a few of our friends over, and we locked him, the king, and my daughters out. Well, Janet knew something that we didn't. Frank hadn't really been killed with the laser. Rocky died on impact when we threw him out the window, but Frank landed on top of him, so he was only minorly hurt. So he and Janet continued talking and hooking up, and that drove Brad insane, so he was committed to Dentonvale, and so on. Well, she invited Frank here to my party, and when I finally fell asleep, I was laying on his chest. I don't remember our conversation, I'm pretty sure we didn't do it, but he left some lipstick on my forehead. Well, when I woke up, Riff Raff was sitting in a chair, he remained calm for some of it, but finally grabbed a lamp, and broke some of my skull, right where the lipstick mark was. Well, from my skull being broken, and me bleeding a lot, I was forced into a coma. I wrote a note, saying I loved him, but he was abusive, so I would have to go away again. I was in my coma for about five months. My baby was born when I couldn't move or anything, but I could hear. So, from an agreement between Riff and Frank, Frank could name the baby. I woke up, and left Transexual. Now I'm here, waiting for Little Nell to move here." Wow. That is really what happened to her... Wasn't it?

"Yeah, Frank told me that Columbia was the real actress."

"Am I the only one who didn't know that?"

"Of course not. Only Janet, her kid, and a few other people knew."

"Let me rephrase that. Am I the only one who knew her since she was sixteen, and who has seen her nude, who was married to her, _and _who lived with her during Nell's good days who didn't know?"

"I think so."

"Great."

"Aww come on. You've ranted a little, can't you get back to cooking?"

"No... I'll stay in here. It's almost for him to fed."

"Suit yourself." I walked out, and Bri tagged along after a few minutes.

Nation served the table, and we all sat down and ate. I remembered something as soon as I sat down. I walked over to the girls room. "Knock knock! Time to eat! Your Auntie Nation is here."

They walked out, washed their hands, and sat down at the table, beside each other. As usual, I sat at the counter, because it's my apartment, and you can't be at the head of a round table. We ate, and automatically everyone except me and the twins complemented her. "Not good enough for you, Frank?" I looked at her and she winked.

"It's perfectly fine, Genta used to make it all the time in the castle."

"Ahh, and mine's not as good?"

"Exactly."

"Burt Schnick has complemented my cooking."

"How is Burt? After I moved, I couldn't seem to find the DTV station."

"I assume he's okay. We don't really keep that close, after what he did to Cosmo."

"And what did he do to Cosmo?" I was smirking now. She looked at the girls, and they covered her ears.

"Butt fucked him. Against his will."

"So... Rape?"

"Yes, but I made a bet with one of my friends that I can fit butt fuck into normal sentences I don't even know what Burt did to him, I just wanted to see if I could pull it off."

"Okay... How is someone raped my brother who I happen to sleep with a normal sentence?"

"That's true... Hmm..." We chatted on and on through dinner, I helped Nation and the girls clean up, but for the most part I just watched.

"So, how do you girls know how to wash dishes?"

"Mum said that she was the evil bitch, and it was our turn to be Magenta and Riff Raff. Do you know who Frank is?" I laughed.

"Oh my god, Ciffa, turn around." Pat sighed, and looked up at me. "I apologise for her, she did the same thing to your son, asking him if he knew a person named Sonny Ammbo."

"Don't be mean Pat."

"I'm not being mean, Nattie, I am stating a fact."

"Fine. Ciffa, go to your room, Pat gets to do the rest of the dishes."

"What!"

"You heard her. If your nice to people, they're nice to you." She stuck her tongue out and ran.

"Now I know how Scarlet feels..."

"What?"

"Nothing. I didn't say a thing." She smiled at her, rolled her eyes, and when back to work. Nation rolled her eyes, and stuck her hands back in the sink. I flared my nostrils, and walked towards Magenta's room.

"Can I come in?"

"Sure, just avert your eyes."

"Okay..." I walked in, and she was nursing. "Oh... Oh god, don't you have a towel or something to cover him?"

"No, I didn't bring any or anything. Why?"

"Okay, there are towels in the closet near the bathroom, why didn't you get one of those?"

"I don't know, maybe because you never told me?"

"Well, next time, you know where they are."

"Screw next time." She got up, baby and all, and walked out of the room.

"Magenta!" I ran after her. "You don't just walk out with one hanging out of your shirt!"

"Why? At the castle, you would of had no problem if I went our like this."

"Well, no offence hon, but back then, I'm pretty sure you didn't have a baby stuck to them."

"Thanks... Wait, I know this... Syd! The king, right?"

"That's correct. Now, lets see what you look like without the baby."

"No, thank you. I was briefly married to a woman, but it didn't turn out very well. We got a divorce, but we still meet each other for a little friendly night now and then."

"Come on, show her. Pat can turn her head."

"Nation!"

"Has she seen you topless too?"

"Most of my friends have."

"Then why can't I see?" She had already gotten the towel, and had draped it over her shoulder.

"I just met you today, maybe sometime else."

"Come on!"

"No Nation!"

"We were in an arranged marriage."

_"Nation!"_

"Okay. So set up to marry one girl, married another, and yet you won't show a king your boob. Can't you just pretend I'm a guy?"

"If I do will you shut up?"

"Yep." Syd grinned.

She sighed, pulled the towel off, and took the baby off. "Happy?"

"Very."

"You said the exact same thing when Nell showed you her boobs."

"So girls from your planet just... Show you their breasts?"

"She's an Earthling."

"Hmm..."

"So let me see yours."

"What?"

"You heard me. Take the top off hon."

"I don't feel comfortable going out of drag..."

"Do you ever come out?"

"I sleep out of drag, but most of my wardrobe is men's clothing."

"Okay... Would you come with me?" Genta winked.


	3. Chapter 3

Magenta's POV

A/N I just want to say I'm amazed! There's like five new stories. When I first started writing, Rocky had in the 900's, but now there's 1,010! I'm reading everyone of them. While listening to the Spice Girls. And eating Nutella. Wearing a Snuggie. Fuck, I'm pathetic.

* * *

"Okay... Would you come with me?"

"I- I don't know."

"Come on. I showed you my boobs, it's the least you could do for me." I pouted a little.

"Do all of you people blackmail?"

"But you're happy with your life now, right?"

"Yeah..." Bri sighed.

"So are you coming or what?"

"I guess..." I grabbed her hand and led her to the bedroom. "What are you going to do?"

"Cup size?"

"I know this... Umm..." I put Frank in his crib. "The last time they measured me was after I was put on the hormones, and I was about a thirty two a."

"Okay... We can work with that..." I walked into the closet and fished around for a little while. "Here you go. Do you shave or wax?"

"Neither."

"My god girl!" I went into my bag and got some wax strips. "Down to your undies." She looked at me like a deer caught in the headlights, I waved my hands around, and she dropped down to her underwear. "Boxers are nice, very comfortable, when I wore my brothers I would keep things like lipstick in the flap, but I need you to be a proper lady. Panties."

"No!"

"Yes! It's not like I'm making you wear a thong or anything, just try these on." I got a pair out of my drawer, and through them to her. She walked into the closet, and put them on. She walked out, and I clapped. "See! It's not that hard! But now..." I showed her the wax.

"Please no."

"I'm sorry, but we all have to go out of our comfort zone."

"All right. I will do whatever you say, and want to do to me. But, I get permission to turn you into a man."

"Okay!" I sat her down on the bed, and draped one of her legs over me. I finished it with little trouble, but I could tell the pillow she was squeezing was about to pop. I did the other leg just as quick. I did he bikini line after a quick debate, and moved on. "How about your arms and underarms?"

"Okay. I wear trousers during the show, but I sometimes wear short sleeves."

"Well, wear a jacket or something."

"If you mess this up, I'll kill you." I did her arms and underarms, with little complaining.

"Okay!" I stood up. "How do you feel?"

"Like a plucked chicken."

"Well, don't get to exited. We still have to do your face." I got my tweezers and facial wax out.

"You have every thing known to man in here."

"Hardly. Just things to make you look better..." I did her eyebrows, actually gave them _shape_, and her upper lip. "Done!" It had been about forty five minutes. "Now, clothes. This dress is to small when I'm nursing and it is pretty small anyway. So, try this on in there." She sighed, and walked in the closet. I got some stockings out of my drawer, a garter belt, and some heels. She came out. I had picked out a ruby red dress, with a black belt. It was about halfway down the thigh. "Now. Put these on." She did, and I walked around her. "Hmm..." I let her slip in the heels. She tottered around a while she got her stuff together to put on me. She bound my breasts after putting multiple sport bras on, a guys shirt, a leather jacket, black pants, and shoes. I don't even know what type of shoes they were. That's how manly they were. Columbia would cry.

She brushed my hair out straight, tied it up, and put it in a cap. She took all my makeup off, and I put some on her. I fixed her hair, it was actually a pretty good length. I put it in a bow, and we both looked over our work.

"Ready to freak them out?"

"Sure. Let me go out first." I trotted out. "Ladies, gentleman, and transvestites. This is what I would look like if I dressed as a man!" Frank and Nation started to clap.

"It took you two hours to do that?"

"No. Most of the time was spent on... Sydney!" She walked out, blushing.

"Wow, you make a better girl then I do!"

"That's because you're a guy, Frank!"

"Can I change now?"

"No! You're pretty! Sit down!" The Lori girl patted beside her.

"I'm not sure how to sit down in a dress this short, so I'll go sit at the table."

They laughed, and I followed her. "So, how is it?"

"I do like the way it feels."

"That's the first step. Before you know it, you'll be a woman full time." Nation grinned at Brian.

"Well what's the next step?"

"Your girlfriend breaks up with you because you seem to enjoy it to much." She leaned her head back and laughed.

"I'm sorry. But that is the funniest thing I've heard today."

"I love that you enjoy my pain." We laughed and chatted a little more, for about an hour.

"Oh, god. It's late. Bye Genta." Nation kissed me on the cheek shook Franks hand, and nodded her head towards the rest.

"Bye! Tell Riff Raff we got here safely!"

"I will, don't worry. She smiled, and walked into the bathroom.

"I think I should settle the girls in." I walked into their room, and they were on the ground playing with dolls. "Girls! It's late, get into bed!" I grinned, and grabbed both of them. "Roawr!" They laughed, and I put them in their beds. "Goodnight you two! Now go to sleep!"

I walked out, and everyone was grinning now. "You're so cute."

"You really are. And your kids are too." Syd winked at me.

"Oh... You guys saw that?"

"Yeah. We did. And it's _adorable_."

"Whatever." I smiled. "I'm going to bed." I walked into my room, peeled off my clothes, and got into bed. I fell asleep almost instantly.

* * *

"Mum. Mum. Mum. Mum. Mu-" I threw a pillow at the source of the noise. "Ow!"

"I'm sorry. It's mummy's sleepy time."

"That would be good. If it wasn't past noon."

"Is it really? Wow. Well, it's been a hard few months for Mum."

"I guess so."

"Where's Frank?"

"He brought Frank Jr to the park to try to pick up chicks."

"Figures." I crashed back down.

"Hey, wait! I'm hungry."

"There's breast milk in the fridge. Help yourself."

"That's gross."

"Then I don't know what you want from me!"

"Maybe a good morning, how did you sleep, HAPPY FREAKING BIRTHDAY?"

"What?"

"Our birthday passed while you were in the coma. Riff Raff and Frank held us a small birthday party."

"Oh, I'm sorry! What can I do to make up for it?"

_"Fix me some damn pancakes!"_

I threw another pillow at her. "Maybe later. Ring your dad. See if he wants to take you to get some food. Hold on. Which one are you?"

"Really Mum?"

"Yeah."

"Pat."

"Be nice to your dad if you want food."

"Fine. I do have one question."

"Yeah?"

"Why is there some half nude girl on the floor."

"Just leave her." I laid back down, but couldn't fall back asleep. I got up, yawned, and went to my closet. I picked out a tank top, a button up shirt, and a red pleated skirt. I got dressed, slipped into some heels, did my makeup, and looked at Sydney on the floor. I kicked her. "Get up." I kicked her again. "Get up."

"What!"

"Get up, you're passed out on the floor."

"Oh. Okay." She yawned, got up, and headed towards the bathroom. I walked out, and Pat was on the sofa, and Ciffa was watching television.

"Why?" The person on the phone with her talked. "I don't care! Have you two considered this is stressful on us too?"

I whispered. "Is that your father?" She nodded, and I took the phone. "Hello."

"Ma- Magenta?"

"Yes. _Big word! _I'm so proud. Listen, I need you to take the girls for a little while, take them to lunch or something. I'm busy. I met a king yesterday, but she looks so good in woman's clothes, so I'm trying to convince her to get out from the clothing every once in a while and be a girl."

"I still can't..."

"Fine, we can call Columbia or someone. Thanks for no help at all. Goodbye."

"Goodbye, Genta." He hung up.

"Magenta." I could barley afford a whisper. I cleared my throat. "Your father can not take you. Call Columbia."

"That's not much of a let down." She dialed her number. "Columbia? Hey! Mum is wondering if you could take us for lunch. Hmm?" She paused, and I heard squeaking coming from the phone. "Really? Thanks! Let me ask her." She looked up at me. "She says only if you go too."

"Can I bring my friend?"

"Can she bring a friend?" Pat looked up at me. "She says yeah. She wants to eat here."

"That's fine. Tell her to be here as soon as possible." Pat spoke into the phone while I walked over to the bathroom. "Sydney! Someone's coming, so get out soon."

"Okay!" We waited a little, I watched Family Matters for a little while, until Sydney came out. "When do I need to leave?"

"I've been thinking, and I would like to take you..." I moved my arms around for a little, and put my arm around her. "Under my wing."

"I'll probably regret this, but who cares."

"Good. We are going to lunch with my ex-wife."

"Good. I can meet a person who has seen your boobs when you were younger."

"They happen to be in good shape!"

"Whatever." She winked at me, and I tugged her into my room.

"Now, you need to put on the fishnets first today, because you are wearing shorts. I'm figuring we want a tomboy thing going on here, right?"

"I guess... Why am I wearing woman's clothes again?"

"Because I want you to tackle your comfort zone, and hit it with a hammer."

"I'm not comfortable with that."

"Exactly why they call it a comfort zone," I said, as I threw a pair of panties at her. "Put those on, I'll find the clothes." I walked in the closet, and got the tiny shorts, a tank top, and a flannel shirt. "Now put these on. The tank top has a part at the top so if it's cold your headlights won't show. Then, you put the shirt like a jacket over it."

"Well, why do you get to button up your shirt."

"A number of reasons. One, It looks better this way. Two, it looks more girly. Three, yours looks better unbuttoned. Now, let's see what we can do with your hair..."


	4. Chapter 4

We waited for Columbia about ten minutes, while I was finishing her makeup. I felt the transducer. "In here!"

"I have a surprise!"

"Good or bad?"

"Did you make reservations?"

"No..."

"Then it's good!" Columbia stepped in with Sophie. "Wait..." Sophie was holding hands with someone... McKinley. Okay. I knew I could handle that. Then, one by one, all of the shadowcast poured in.

"Columbia... Were are we going to eat?"

Sydney opened her eyes. "Holy shit!" She got up. "So. This one's your ex-wife, huh?"

"Yes, Columbia Campbell, you are..."

"Aww, cut the crap. Sydney. You can call me Syd."

"No, you can call her Sydney, because she is dressed like a girl today."

"As opposed to..."

"Being a king. There is a queen too, if you wait long enough. But, I think it's time for the little children to go away. Show me your boobs."

"What?"

"You heard her, Columbia, just do it, she won't shut up until you do."

"Okay.." She lifted up her shirt.

"In front of the kids? Really?"

"They've slept at my house before, they tried to get all pranky, they got an eye-full And then another one, because they apparently didn't learn their lesson."

"Okay. Out." Columbia flashed her, and she had that same Cheshire cat grin. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. Now, where is little Frank?"

"The man-lady of the house took him to pick up girls."

"Shame. Well, let's eat!"

"We're not going to Paris again, right?"

"Please, you loved it Sophie."

"You took me a week before you left, and we almost got arrested." We had made our way out the door, and I just wrote, 'out,' and we walked out the door.

"So, where can we go?"

"How am I supposed to know? I got here yesterday!"

"Please, girls, if I am allowed to shed a little light on the sit-che-ation, we just need to go across the street. It's not the most classy eat in New York, but the food is good." She whispered to me. "Is the accent good?"

"Don't bother. That Sydney is from New York too." They smiled and nodded at each other. We made our way across the street, and it was what looked like a fifties dinner. Records, jukeboxes, fake blondes.

"How can we help you guys?"

"Come on. Surely you recognize your ex-girlfriend." The girl at the podium looked up.

"Sydney! My god, how are you? You're..."

"A woman?"

"Well, I was going to say stunning. But that works too." The waitress laughed.

"How are you?"

She giggled. "I'm engaged. His name's Orin. He's a dentist." Columbia and I exchanged glances. During our movie nights, we would watch that. "So, party of what?"

"Let's see..." I counted. "Sixteen... That's not right..."

"Yeah, it is. This is Kevin."

"Jill! My name is not Kevin! It's Stephanie!"

"Whatever Kevin." She growled as we were led to our seats.

"We don't usually get a party of this many people, so you will have to have these two booths."

"That's fine." In our booth was the adult Sydney, me, Columbia, Sophie, McKinley, Alex, and the teen Sydney. "So, Columbia, why did you two divorce."

"I don't know. It just wasn't hot anymore, and you know, technically she was still engaged at the time... Why did you break up with the lady at the podium?"

"Sandy? She found out I was a girl. I was going to wait until we were married, say, 'hey, guess what, you married a girl,' but she found out, and she broke up with me."

"Aww, that's sad."

"Not really."

"I do want to ask you a question. By any chance, is she... A florist?"

"Columbia?"

"What? She's not a florist."

"Hmm... Have you, by any chance, not gone by Syd, and went by Seymour?"

"I know where this is going..."

"Do you now?" She sat up, and cleared her throat. "Little shop, little shop of horrors! Little shop, little shop of terror! Call a cop, little shop of horrors. No, oh, oh, oh, no-ho!" She hit my side.

"No!"

"Come on!"

I rolled my eyes, and started to sing. "Little shop, little shop of horrors! Bop sh'bob! Little shop of terror, watch 'em drop, little shop of horrors! No, oh, oh, oh no-ho!" We laughed.

"McKinley... Go see if that is in the music machine thing over there."

"Really? I'm from the future and I even know what it is."

"Whatever! Just..." She shoved him over Alex and Sydney. "Go find some music."

"What song?"

"Downtown, or Dentist! Or Grow For Me, maybe Some Fun Now. Or... Umm..."

"How about Suppertime, fitting to the dinner, all though I hope they don't have a man-eating plant... Or Feed Me, or-"

"And find a waitress. I think Columbia's hungry." She laughed.

"Does it show?"

"Yes, darling. It does."

"Oh, that remind me! How much do I look like Little Nell?"

"Not much... Why?"

"Because Nell would never be caught dead here. She's picky."

"You're talking about her like she's another person."

"Well... She is. Sophie looked online, a bunch of different interviews with me, a few with Matilda too, and she is such a diva! And she says she enjoys cooking. Who the hell is this woman?"

I threw my head back and laughed. "I'd be happy to help you with your cooking, and I'm sure Nation would be too. She is still in your debt."

"That's true..." We smiled at Mckinley who returned t the table.

"They didn't have the music you guys wanted."

"Aww... That sucks. Can I have my quarters back?"

"No, I spent them."

"On what?"

"You'll see, but babe, it's worth it."

"Okay..." We waited until the song was about to end.

"Oh, by the way, guess what songs there _were?"_

"What?"

"Oh you know... Just..." He grinned at the expression at Columbia and my face as we realised what song he was playing. "The Rocky Horror Picture Show soundtrack."

We heard a shout from the booth behind us. "Who did this?"

"McKinley. All McKinley." I looked at Columbia, but she was moving her head to the beat, while McKinley was drumming on the table.

"It was great when it all began, I was a regular Frankie fan! But it was over when he had the plan, to start a-working on a muscle man, now the only thing that gives me hope... Is my love of a certain dope! Rose tint my world, keeps me safe from my trouble and pain." She laughed, and the waitress walked up.

"You know this? It seems this is only played when the two in the morning crowd comes in."

"Yeah, we know it pretty well. When is someone going to take our order?"

"Oh, sure..." She pulled out a pad.

"I just want a glass of water, cubed ice, with two sprigs of mint." I handed her my menu.

"One glass of water." She smiled, and I rolled my eyes. They ordered, and she went over to the other booth.

"Now. How good is your bacon?"

She shrugged. "It's bacon." She took the rest of the orders.

"How hard is it to find good help?"

"I'm sure Frank used to ask the same thing."

We laughed and laughed, I didn't even notice Riff's part, until it was time to go.


	5. Chapter 5

RIFF RAFF'S POV

* * *

"Pat, I really just can't take you." I looked over at Nation swooning over Frank in the corner.

"Why?"

"It's just been really stressfull lately on me, and I'm sure your mum too."

"I don't care! Have you two considered this is stressful on us too?"

"Yes I know it is, but you just have to han-"

"Hello."

"Ma- Magenta?" Nation's eyes darted up.

"Yes. _Big word!_ I'm so proud. Listen, I need you to take the girls for a little while, take them to lunch or something. I'm busy. I met a king yesterday, but she looks so good in woman's clothes, so I'm trying to convince her to get out from the clothing every once in a while and be a girl."

"I still can't..."

"Fine, we can call Columbia or someone. Thanks for no help at all. Goodbye."

"Goodbye, Genta." I hung up, and leaned back on the couch.

"That was Magenta?"

"Yeah."

"What did she want?"

"For me to take the girls to lunch."

"Why didn't you?"

"Because Patricia looks and sounds like Magenta."

"Frank looks like Magenta."

"Yes, but he's a boy."

"No he's not. Not a boy, not a girl, he's a cherub."

"Aren't they boys too? They have dicks, right?"

"Shut up Frank!" Nation shoved him.

"Didn't Columbia like, give you a baby?"

"She was our surrogate, yes."

"So go play with your baby."

"Please. She still doesn't trust me."

"I'm sorry. Have your own then."

"Really? I've explained this to you twice."

"Will you guys shut up?"

"Oh, honey." She came over and patted my head. "It's going to get all better soon."

"How do you know?"

"I - I don't. That's what we said to people at Dentonvale."

"That makes me feel _so _much better."

"Please. Magenta's heart is broken."

"Well, that makes two of us." We talked for about an hour.

"I should probly get back..."

"Have fun..." He laughed as he put Frank in the crib, and wheeled him into the bathroom.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N I posted the first chapter of Diary of a Groupie today. Started to hyperventilate I had a really long conversation with my friend about how I'm a good author, it's a good story, and how the public would like to read it. But, If you're reading this, I guess that Diary of a Groupie _and _Revenge of the Dead Queen went well... This switched back to Frank's POV.

Update 2/25/13: Well, it's been a long time since then, my family is falling apart, and I'm all fucked up on homemade cough medicine. Mondays, man. Mondays.

* * *

I stepped back into my apartment, and put Frank in his crib in the living area. I sighed, and went over to the phone. I called Columbia's house. "Hello?"

"Oh, um, hello. May I ask who's speaking?"

"Sophia. Who is this?"

"Frank Furter."

"Oh, Columbia took Magenta out for a little while."

"Well, thank you. Phone me when she gets back."

"You would know when she was back, as Magenta would be too."

"Okay, little girl. You want to get smart mouthed?"

"No ma'am." I heard a laugh in the background.

"Oh, I didn't know you had a gentleman friend."

"Listen Frank. We met in the hospital a few months ago, and now you're asking if I have the company of a gentleman Is there a reason?"

"I'm sorry. Our's is not to reason why... Our's is but to do and die."

"Did he just quote Clue?"

"No, voice, I was quoting from Alfred, Lord Tennyson."

"McKinley. Nice to meet ya'. Who're you?"

"Frank Furter."

"Awesome. I play Eddie in the shadow cast."

"Yes... I'm very sorry I kill you."

"Frank, shut up." Sophie hung up.

"Bitch." I walked back over to Frank, I looked at the clock. Time to feed. I made my way back to the fridge, and got some of Genta's milk out. I heated it up, and tested it. I started to feed Frank, but soon got bored, and decided to snoop around a bit. I went to Genta's room, looked through her drawers, and found a breast pump. For about fifteen minutes, I had used it on my nose, my eyes, my mouth, and finally, my nipples. It's true. Men can't lactate.

"Frank? We're home!"

I ran out of her room. "I wasn't just playing with your pump."

"Frank!" She ran into her room.

I looked over everyone, who had crammed into my apartment. "So... Who are you guys."

"I'm sorry, we are the shadow cast. Everyone except Eddie is here, he ran away with his girlfriend."

"Yeah. I think I talked to him earlier."

"Well, I am Frank in the shadowcast." A girl stepped up to shake my hand.

"Nice to meet you." I shook her hand, and pulled Columbia aside.

"So, how'd it go with Riffy?"

"He's still depressed. How do you feel about playing a little love doctor?"

"Not for the next month. I set the teenager beside me up with one of Sophie's ex-boyfriends, so that's enough for a little while. Has he gotten out of bed yet?"

"He talked on the phone with Genta, and he was just emotionless. He was so depressed."

"That sucks... I'll see if my schedule can shift a little." Genta came out.

"Well, you didn't break it, just please don't use it again." I laughed.

"I won't. Don't worry."

But soon, three years had passed, Riff Raff was still single, barely got out of bed, Magenta would have points where she would invite Columbia or her aunt over, sit in front of the telly, eat ice cream, and sit on Syd's lap, who she was very good friends with. I got up from the couch where Syd, the girls and I were sitting, when I felt the transducer. Columbia shoved past me. "MAGENTA!" She was dragging Sophie, who had the boy who I assume was McKinley holding her hand.

"What's going on hon?"

"Look at this." She shoved Sophie's hand to her.

"You better take that off, people will think you're engaged."

"Yep."

Magenta froze, while Columbia looked like she was about to scream. "Sophia. What did you say?"

"I'm engaged. So, of course, Columbia beamed us here." She walked over to the couch, and jumped over the end. "What'cha watching?"

Magenta was still frozen, Columbia was glaring at Sophie, and McKinley shifted his weight from one foot to another. Magenta snapped up, and looked at McKinley. "What do you have to say?"

"I love her." Magenta eyed the knives.

"Okay! Genta, no need to go that far. let me see if I can have a word with him." I pulled McKinley out into the hall. "What the hell kid?"

"You're Frank right? Nice to meet you." I rolled my eyes. "Like I said in there, I love her. Simple as that."

"Does it not bother you that you can't see anyone else? The rest of her life?"

"Yes. That's what I want!"

"Why?"

"I want to go to bed beside her, I want to wake up beside her, when we both graduate, move out into the county side, have the tiny pitter patter of feet."

I thought it over. "You've given this a lot of thought, haven't you?"

"Yeah."

"You really want to marry her?"

"I really do."

"And you're okay with having crazy in-laws."

"I think Columbia's fine."

"I was talking about Magenta."

"Yeah. I am."

"And you realize if you look down while she's giving birth, you will never get the image out of your head."

"Good to know." I sighed, and we walked in.

"He really wants to."

Columbia ran over to me. "NO! We thought you would be the best choice, because you can't even commit to a brand of hairspray!"

Magenta walked over. "Maybe he's serious. No one can convince Frank without good reasoning."

"So, I'm not really sure how to do this, but I'll give it my best shot. Magenta Vitus, can I have your daughters hand in marriage?"

"I know I'm going to regret this. Yes. Sophia can get married. I'll sign the papers."

"Really?" Sophie squeaked, and ran up to Magenta. "Thank you..." I hugged Columbia around the neck, because she looked like she was about to burst into flames and or tears.

"It's okay."

"Okay! My baby's getting married!"

"I know. It seems Janet had just given birth yesterday, and she's still the cute, fluffy little bitch that sang Fernando with you, and went to France with me."

"That was ten years ago Genta."

"Wow. It was, wasn't it?"

"Yeah. So what, am I to call you my mother in law now?"

"No... That makes me feel old..."

"You are!" Columbia creaked, her voice was cracking from crying.

"Nell's older then me!"

"Shut up!"

"Make me!" Magenta sat on the counter. "I was born to be the queen of beauty style and poise, but oh this competition's tough I'm... Up against those boys! The title I am after baby, is my greatest dream!"

"Come on! Please! At least sing the one I helped with!"

"Which one?"

"You know..." She got up and cleared her throat. "See you round like a record. Our romance is kind of checkered. See you round like a record see ya' round."

"I don't know that one." Genta got down.

"Of course." She got up and hugged her, then walked over to Sophie. "I'll sign the papers." She looked at Sophie. "Well, let's get planning."


	7. Chapter 7

A/N Magenta's POV now.

* * *

"I don't know! This is too hard!"

"I could."

"No! Little Nell is not a wedding singer!"

"Columbia, maybe you should sing."

"I don't have the voice for that song."

"Well, I'm preformiing the ceremony, Columbia's walking her down the ailse, who else is there?"

"I'm here. And so is Syd."

"Well, we want you guys to come. Who wants to sing?"

"You know, I have friends and family too."

"I'm sorry, who do you want to sing?"

"All of the shadow cast has a pretty good voice. But I don't want them to sing."

"So, we're back to square one."

"Looks like it."

"Frank." I sighed, and walked over to the couch, where the ussual gang was. "Who has a good voice?"

"We all have to sing at the drag show. And when Lori's drunk she can sing pretty well."

"Frank. Will you be our wedding singer?"

"I would love to. What am I going to sing?"

"A song called In Your Arms Tonight."

"I think I've heard of that."

"You probably have. But, we want the Hedwig And The Angry Inch version."

"Okay. What are the lyrics?"

"Here." She walked over to Frank on the couch, and handed him the paper with the lyrics on it.

He looked them over. "Looks pretty."

"Thanks for the approval." She laughed, and walked into the kitchen. She got a bttle of water out of the fridge, and paused by the island. "I just noticed you guys have two stoves."

"Yeah... We're not sure why either."

"Okay then." She walked back over, and we started planning again. We have the venue, the music, the ceremony."

"Wait, ceremony?"

"Yeah. You're going to get the one Cosmo and Nation had, because that's the only one I've bothered to learn, and I don't want to learn another."

"Okay. We have those, vows?"

"I can write my own. Sophie?"

"I can write them. Speeches?"

"I want to make a speech."

"I know Chloe will want to... Meghan, maybe Jacob... I know Jill... Anyone else on your side Sophie?"

"Other then Columbia?"

"Yeah."

"Not that I know of."

"So, are you guys going to Time Warp?"

"Don't we have to?"

"Then yes, you are. Suits and dresses?"

"I can take her shopping. I assume your side of the family will want to take you unless you want Syd."

"I'm not fun to shop with." I laughed, because the last time I took her shopping for woman's clothes, she almost had a tantrum in the middle of the brassiere aisle.

"I want to go with Sophie!"

"Yes, Frank. And so will Sonny, and Nation, and Cosmo, and Nell."

"The king is coming to help me pick out a dress. Wow..."

We went to the shop on Transexual, and I sat by the window the whole time, and when they weren't looking, I slipped out. i knew where it was, but I would never got there on foot, so I went to the transducer room, put in the key, and went to the castle. I checked in with the guards and went to the living room, walked around a little, touching the lamp, the bust of the old queen, the black leather, and headed to the kitchen. I touched the pot hanging up, ran my nail across the stove, I made a design on the wax apple, which is never dusted, and then someone cleared their throat. "Riff Raff."

"Magenta." I still didn't turn around, it was like I was frozen. "What are you doing here?"

"My step daughter is getting married. We're getting her a dress, and Sonny came too. He wanted to be a part of the wedding, just like his dad."

"Did your girlfriend come?"

"Sydney's not my girlfriend."

"What would you call her?"

"I don't know, my friend. Why do you even care?"

"Well, I... Uh..."

I smiled. "You what?"

He sighed. "Nothing. How are the kids?"

"Fine. Frank's accelerating early, no shocker there, the girls are loving New York, especially some of big Frank's friends, they're around so much, I'm afraid he'll start calling them Mum and Dad." He inhaled sharply when I said Dad. "Riff, they're not going to have a new father. _Maybe_ a new Mum. You're going to have to deal with it!" I spun around. "Have you started dating again?"

"No..." He looked down at the floor.

"I give you my permission. We are legally divorced. If it's the kids you're worried about, Pat hates you, I don't think Ciffa even remembers you, Frank doesn't even know he has a dad, they'll be fine. I'll be fine. Frank and Columbia just want us both to get over each other, which probably won't happen anytime soon, but we're both strong." I punched him lightly on the arm. "We're both strong. I do want to make sure of one thing though. Hand me your wallet." He pulled it out, and handed it to me. "Really? It's been three years. Let it go." I took three pictures of me out, one of me nude, two of me as a teenager, one of us as little kids holding hands, one of me holding the girls in the hospital after they were born, and one f me as a little girl. "You can keep this one of me as a little girl, this one of us holding hands, and this one with me and the girls. I have one of you as a kid, this same photo, and you holding the girls on my bedside table. And I'm keeping the nude one of me. How did you even get that?" He laughed, ignoring my question.

I ripped the others in half, and threw them in the bin. He winced. "Did you really have to do that?"

"Yes. So if you new girlfriend or boyfriend looks through your wallet, you can say, 'oh, that's my sister, and that's us as children, and that's her and my nieces.' That will make dad happy."

"Has he came to visit you yet?"

"Yes, he walked in on Sydney and I drunk, laughing, and he practically started jumping with joy." Riff laughed.

"Same with me. Nation called him, and I could hear him cheering on the other line."

"He always supported us." We laughed a little. "Well, I should go back to the dress shop, before they notice I'm gone." I hugged him briefly. "Bye." I kissed him on the cheek, and ran back to the transducer.

"Buh... Bye?" He stammered for a little while longer before I took off. I got back to the transducer room, and ran back to the dress shop, where no one had really moved. They chatted on and on for a little while, until Nation came over to me, and started to whisper.

"How was Riff Raff?"

"What?"

"I think I'm the only one who noticed you slip out. I also know you. The only place you would go is to him. How'd he react?"

"Well, I was walking around the living room and the kitchen, he cleared his throat, I ripped up some pictures of me, I gave him permission to date again, and I kissed him on the cheek when I left."

"You what!"

"Which one?"

"You gave him permission to date again?"

"Yeah... I've mostly gotten over him, he should have the opportunity to get over me and not have nude photographs of me in his wallet."

"Okay. I should go talk to Columbia." She got up, and walked over to Columbia, who came over and yelled at me.

"What the hell Genta! This ruins everything!"

"This ruins what? He said it himself, he can't change, he thought seven years was to early to come back to me, what don't you get about that!" I stormed over to where Sophie was alone, looking at dresses. "Hey."

"Good thing someone's here, I was about to break down! I don't know which one to pick!"

"Hon, calm down. You know, If you ever need help, you can always check out my dress or Nation's dress."

"Could I see your dress?"

"Sure." I yelled over my shoulder. "Sophie and I are going to the museum to see my dress!" We walked out to the transducer. "So, what are you going to do abut your mentor?"

"If you get married, you don't have to go! Isn't that great!"

"What? Sophie, is this why you're agreeing to this? If it is, I will kill you. I think I still have that knife in my bag..." I slung it up and started looking through it.

"Genta, Genta, relax. I checked with the agency, even if I get married, i still have to go. But, they are willing to have special arrangements for me and McKinley."

"Like..."

"The empty apartment next to you guys? They will possibly let us rent it, and you and Frank be our mentors." I coouldn't do anything because we were in the transducer, but when we got to the museum, I hugged her.

"This will be great!" We walked into the museum.

"Magenta, how long ago did we last see each other?" She giggled. "What have you come here for?"

"I would like to see my dress, and possibly take it out."

"Okay, the next tour to the dresses is... Well, you lucked out, it's in about three minutes." We waited on a bench, until a tour group came. "Baylie? These ladies would like to join you."

"Oh, okay. Magenta and..."

"Sophia. She's interested in my dress, so I might need to take it out for a while."

"Okay." The guide started talking to the group again, but Sophie and I walked in silence we got to the dresses, and we separated from the group because my dress was all the way at the end.

"Wow, Genta, its beautiful."

"Do you want to check out Nation's?"

"I don't think so... Can I try it on?"

"Sure." I got the key from the guide, unlocked the glass so Sophie could step in, and covered it the best I could so people couldn't see through the glass. She stepped out after about five minutes, and she was beautiful. The one strap fit perfectly, and I tied the ribbon tighter, and it fit. "How do you like it?"

She had grabbed the sides, and was swaying back and forth. "This is the one. I know it."

"Okay." We sorted it out, and we can keep the dress until the wedding. But, since her sixteenth birthday was coming up, she had to get married soon, or she couldn't live with McKinley. A week after we got the dress, they had the ceremony.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N I would just like to warn you. This chapter has almost no purpose. It's pretty much just a giant song.

* * *

The ceremony was beautiful, the same as Cosmo and Nation's, Sophie's vows were beautiful, McKinley's were... Mediocre All of the shadow cast came, Richard came, Sonny came, the other Sonny came, Janet came, Nation Cosmo and Nell came, and McKinley's parents. That was interesting.

"Hello, Mr. and Mrs... McKinley's parents. How are you?"

"A little depressed McKinley is marring so young."

"I know the feeling. We almost killed Sophie."

"We?"

"I'm sorry, has she not told you? Over there is Columbia, who I'm sure you have meet, and she is my ex-wife. We got married when I was still engaged to my brother, and then we divorced when I gave birth to my brother's twins, and then my brother and I got married, and then he tried to kill me, and THEN Columbia fled to New Zealand, and then I ran away from him. That is when I met Sophie. Yes, Sophie is from the planet of Asexual, and she was given to Columbia, since she was such close friends with me while I was queen. Columbia is Columbia's foster daughter, but she has always considered me as a second mum."

"Your brother?"

"That's what you get from that?" I laughed. "Yes, my brother. We are divorced."

"Okay... And you were the one that preformed the ceremony?"

"Yes. And now I believe I have to initiate the first dance."

"Oh! What song? Is it a classic?"

"You could say that." This technically isn't the first dance. The ceremony meant nothing on this planet, it's this dance that means something.

"Okay..."

I ran up to the podium where Frank was chatting up one of the band members "Hello! I would like to commence the song ritual! Sophie, McKinley, get your asses up here and sing for us!" They clapped as McKinley and Sophie walked up, him laughing and Sophie blushing.

I cued the band. They looked into each others eyes, and started to sing. "It's astounding, time is fleeting. Madness... Takes it's toll, but listen closely. Not for very much longer. I've got to... Keep control." I hugged Columbia, who was crying. "I remember doing the Time Warp... Drinking, those moments when... The blackness would hit me, and the void would be calling..." Now comes the point we all sing and dance to.

"Let's do the Time Warp again! Let's do the Time Warp again! It's just a jump to the left." And we did. "Then a step to the ri-i-i-i-i-ight, with your hands on your hips, you bring your knees in tight, but it's the pelvic thrust, that really drive you insa-a-a-a-a-ane! Let's do the Time Warp again, let's do the Time Warp again!"

"It's so dreamy, oh fantasy free me, so you can't see me, no not at all! In another dimension, with voyeuristic intention, well secluded, I see all. With a bit of a mind flip, you're into the time slip! And nothing... Can ever be the same. You're spaced out on sensation, like your under sedation..."

"Let's do the Time Warp again! Let's do the Time Warp again!"

"Well I was walkin' down the street just-a havin' a think, when a snake of a guy gave me an evil wink! He shook-a me up, he took me by surprise, he had a pick-up truck and the devil's eyes! He stared at me and I felt a change, time meant nothin' never would again!"

"Let's do the Time Warp again! Let's do the Time Warp again! It's just a jump to the left. Then a step to the ri-i-i-i-i-ight, with your hands on your hips, you bring your knees in tight, but it's the pelvic thrust, that really drive you insa-a-a-a-a-ane! Let's do the Time Warp again, let's do the Time Warp again! Let's do the Time Warp again! Let's do the Time Warp again! It's just a jump to the left. Then a step to the ri-i-i-i-i-ight, with your hands on your hips, you bring your knees in tight, but it's the pelvic thrust, that really drive you insa-a-a-a-a-ane! Let's do the Time Warp again, let's do the Time Warp again!"

They kissed as we clapped. I ran back up to the stage. "We will now have the first dance, a song that they actually picked, In Your Arms Tonight." I cheered and Frank walked to the microphone.

"Okay, this song was picked by Sophie, and I haven't known her for long, but I think that-"

"Get on with it Frankie!" Columbia laughed.

"Fine. In Your Arms Tonight." The band started to play, and they started to dance. "Runnin' head on, to things that knock me down. Over again, he picked me off the ground, when I wasn't strong enough to fight. Anymore, but in your arms tonight. Hold me close and tight, in your arms tonight. In your arms tonight, oh my love."

Columbia tapped me on the shoulder. "I know someone who would like to dance."

"You're scheduled to get pregnant in about a year honey."

"Not me, come on." She put her hands lightly over my eyes, and led me out from the dancing floor, on to the grass. Frank was still singing.

"God only knows, why I don't just retreat, instead of riding the rails... Back to the place of my worst defeat. Cause I'm not foolin' anyone, not quite. Anymore, but in your arms tonight. Try not to be strong. Cry 'til it's all gone. If you hold me tight, in your arms tonight." We were far enough away so I could barely hear him.

"She's all yours. Nation, Richard, Sonny and I are in hearing distance in case you try anything funny."

"I won't." His voice broke through.

I stumbled towards it, and crashed into him. There were no candles, so I couldn't tell if it was him. "Riffy?"

"Yes." He purred.

"Don't think I'm going to go back to you just because you set up something this romantic." He huffed a laugh.

"I don't. I just couldn't get you off my mind since last week."

"No..."

"I'm sorry." He took my hand.

"Please don't do this here, I have to make a speech..."

"I really am sorry..." He took my face in his hands, and kissed me. I couldn't help but let tears slip from my eyes. He pulled away.

"How was it?" I was silent.

"How was it for you?"

I loved it. "It meant nothing. No sparks." That's a lie, but I couldn't tell him how I really felt.

"Muh- Me too."

"I should get going now." I searched for Columbia's arm in the darkness, and called back over my shoulder. "Bye. I love you. As family." We ran back to the floor, and she wiped my tears away. Frank finished.

"Well, since that's really all she wanted... I guess we do speeches now? The best man, if he could come up here." We clapped at our tables as Michael walked up to the stage.

"Thank you, there's no need. Now, McKinley getting married. That's a pretty big thing. I always thought I would be getting married first, when I got some poor girl pregnant. No, really. I find it incredible that he got married, and to a wonderful girl named Sophia. Who, by the way, is _way _out of his league " He pulled out a card from his jacket. "Now, Sophie is very lucky too, because McKinley is very sweet, smart and... Um... You really need to work on your hand writing here. In all seriousness, I really think you guys will be happy together. Even though I just met Sophie today, I can tell she's a good person. Now, I've known McKinley and his family most of his life, even tried to live with them once. Lived in his bathtub for two weeks. No. One. Noticed. Knowing them so long, I've had to get used to a lot of corny jokes, but marring him, you must know what you're in for. My wish for you both is for each day to be better then the last, so you can look back on today, and it will be the worst day of your life together." He raised his drink. We didn't really care if they drank, they already did. Sophie's bridesmaid one of her friends from college gave her speech, but I could barely understand it, because I had drunken so much during Michael's speech. Columbia pushed me towards the stage.

"Well, I'll be honest with you guys, I'm shitfaced, so bare with me." I heard a few gasps. "I never imagined Sophie getting married. She was so cute, and fat and short when I first met her. Now she's tall, skinny and uses sophisticated speech Huh." I laughed a little. "I don't really remember my speech I wrote... So..." I cleared my throat. "Can you hear the drums Fernando?" I heard Sophie moan. "I remember long ago... Another..."

"Starry!"

"Starry, thanks hon. Night like this." The band joined in. "In the firelight Fernando, you were humming to yourself and softly strumming your guitar. I could hear the distant drums and sounds of bugle calls were from afar..." I took a deep breath. "They were closer now Fernando. Every hour, every minute seemed to last eternally. I was so afraid Fernando! We were young and full of life and none of us prepared to die, and I'm not afraid to say the roar of guns and cannons almost made me cry... Everybody!"

"There was something in the air that night, the stars were bright, Fernando. They were shining there for you and me, for liberty, Fernando! Though we never thought that we could loose, there's no regret." I looked at the edge of the floor, and he was standing there. "If I had to do the same again, I would my friend, Fernando." Sure, only a few of the guests other then Columbia, Sophie and myself were singing, but it was fun.

"Now we're old and gray Fernando, and since many years I haven't seen a rifle in your hand. Can you hear the drums Fernando?" My smile widened so much I thought it would fall off, and Riffy looked like he laughed. "Do you still recall the frightful night we crossed the Rio Grande? I can see it in your eyes how proud you were to fight for freedom in this land!"

"There was something in the air that night, the stars were bright, Fernando. They were shining there for you and me, for liberty, Fernando! Though I never thought that we could loose, there's no regret. If I had to do the same again, I would my friend, Fernando." More of us were singing now. "There was something in the air that night, the stars were bright, Fernando. They were shining there for you and me, for liberty, Fernando! Though I never thought that we could loose, there's no regret. If I had to do the same again, I would my friend, Fernando. Yes, if I had to do the same again, I would my friend Fernando!" I cheered as I walked off the stage, greeted by his glaring parents, and a grinning Columbia and Sophie.

"I wasn't that fat."

"Please. You looked like a marshmallow crammed in that tiny dress." She laughed.

"Okay. I was a little pudgy. I'll give you that. But I'm never going to outlive that song?"

"No. Honey, trust me, when we die, we will haunt you, and make sure everything that plays music plays Fernando."

Columbia laughed. "Oh... Looks like the dj is taking requests." She trotted over there, while I stared past McKinley's parents to Riffy. Columbia bounced back.

"Okay. Next up is a classic, from the mother of the bride." He started to play a song, and I laughed.

"Really!"

"Yeah!"

"Get out from that kitchen and rattle those pots and pans, get out from that kitchen and rattle those pots and pans. Well, roll my breakfast 'cause I'm a hungry man. I said shake, rattle and roll. I said shake, rattle and roll. I said shake, rattle and roll. I said shake, rattle and roll. Well, you never do nothin' to save your doggone soul. Wearin' those dresses, your hair done up so nice, wearin' those dresses, your hair done up so nice. You look so warm, but your heart is cold as ice." I winked at Columbia. "I said shake, rattle and roll. I said shake, rattle and roll. I said shake, rattle and roll. I said shake, rattle and roll. Well, you never do nothin' to save your doggone soul. I'm like a one-eyed cat, peepin' in a sea-food store, I'm like a one-eyed cat, peepin' in a sea-food store. I can look at you, tell you don't love me no more. I believe you're doin' me wrong and now I know, I believe you're doin' me wrong and now I know. The more I work, the faster my money goes. I said shake, rattle and roll. I said shake, rattle and roll. I said shake, rattle and roll. I said shake, rattle and roll. Well, you never do nothin' to save your doggone soul. Shake, rattle and roll!"

"Now, because no one eats at Transylvainan weddings, we would like to present a song. We have a _beautiful _mister Richard O'Brien in the audience tonight, maybe he will recognized this song."

Chloe, Sydney, Michael, Jacob and Alex walked up to the stage. The band started to play, and I looked at Richard at the next table, and he grinned and rolled his eyes. "There's trouble in Pine City, there's trouble in Pine City. Trouble. Trouble. Trouble. Trouble. Trouble!" The girls stopped singing.

"Well, falling, falling, falling. This drop's impossible. Think, don't panic, young women shouldn't be so manic."

"Did she jump?"

"Was she pushed?"

"Or did she fall?"

Sydney grinned. "I've fallen for love, I've fallen for guys. I've fallen for jokes, I've fallen for alibis! I've fallen on hard times, I've fallen for lines. I've fallen from grace, I've fallen in my own eyes! The adrenaline's flowing, there's a strange sense knowing it all! But did I jump? Was I pushed? Or did I fall?"

"Falling, falling, falling, this drop's impossible. Think, don't panic! Young women shouldn't be so manic."

"Did she jump?"

"Was she pushed?"

"Or did she fall?"

"I've fallen from virtue, I've fallen for vice. I've fallen on hard times, I've fallen for alibis! I've fallen on deaf ears, I've fallen for lies. I've fallen in debt, I've fallen too many times! The adrenaline's flowing, there's a strange sense knowing it all! But did I jump? Was I pushed? Or did I fall?" They grinned at us. Or Richard.

"Well, falling, falling, falling. This drop's impossible. Think, don't panic! Young women shouldn't be so manic ."

"Did she jump?"

"Was she pushed?"

"Or did she fall?" We clapped, and Columbia caught me staring at Riffy again.

"Stay calm honey." She put her hand on mine. The night ended shortly after they sang, and we showed Sophie to her new apartment. Sophie and McKinley stayed the night in their new apartment, and Columbia crashed on the couch.


	9. Chapter 9

It was about four in the morning, and I still had a little hangover. I was on the couch next to Columbia, who had drunken more then I had. I heard a knock on the door, and I scrambled to get my robe. I put it on over my skimpy lingerie, and opened the door, even though my stockings were still visible. I didn't even peep through the hole, I just opened it. "What do you want?"

"I just wanted to see you."

"At four in the fucking morning?"

"I was wondering why it was dark." He laughed a little. "Why don't we sit down..."

"I can say all we need to say right here."

"Okay, how abut we step in the hall?"

"Fine." I stepped out, and leaned against the wall. "Why did you come here?"

"You know how I kissed you at the wedding?"

I squeaked out of fear. "Yeah..."

"It meant something to me..."

"Oh God..." I put my head in my hands.

"I still love you."

"No! You have no right to say that!"

"What do you mean have no _right_?"

"I was doing just fine here, and then you say you love me!"

"Excuse me, I was doing fine too, until you showed up at the palace!"

"Why are you lying?"

"What do you mean?"

"Oh, come on. I've known you all my life. You always clench your bum when you lie. I assume you picked that up in the castle when Frank tried to punish you."

"Okay. I am lying. I'm not over you!"

"Don't do this to me!"

"Do what?"

"Getting over you is the hardest thing I've every done."

"I wouldn't say it's the hardest." I looked up at him, he winked, and I glared.

"Shut the fuck up."

He laughed a little more. "You don't find that funny..."

"No. I don't. This is a serious conversation."

"I'm sorry." He sighed. "Last week. You said you still had pictures of me?"

I was getting more and more cautious. "Yeah..."

"Could I see them?"

"Sure..." We walked inside, dodged a sleeping Columbia, a stirring Frankie, and my natural womb noise machine to help him sleep. I ducked in my room, and he followed.

"Nice place."

"It's good enough. I keep these two pictures here..." I picked up the one of him and the girls up, and then the one of him as a toddler off my bedside table. "And I keep this one here." I gestured over Frankie's crib, where I had a shelf, and in the place where the photo was supposed to be, was the photo of us as little kids holding hands. I walked out of the room, got Frankie and his noise machine, put him in his crib, and set the machine up so we both could hear it. "So, if that's all you need..." I yawned, and took my robe off. "The transducer is in the bathroom." I got under the covers, fixed my pillows, and pretended to be asleep so he would just go away. He did just the opposite. He sat down on the chair I had beside my bed, for when I would cry, and Frank would have to spend the night in my room, and he took my hand.

"I never really said anything you could hear in the hospital other then probably talking to those girls. I don't even know where to start. The first few weeks, while they did all that surgery, and pocking at you, I was dying inside. But then, the wounds healed, and you were... Well... You. Simple as that. You were just asleep. And I couldn't believe I had done something like that to such a harmless little creature. The years of worrying, crying, laughing were in front of you, you had an infant's face. Not twisted and torn like when I hit you, and when the girls found you. And now, while you sleep, you look like that again. When you brought Frank in the room, I saw you in him. I saw also that he has not only you, but me in him too." He sighed. "That kiss meant a lot to me. And when you sang, and looked into my eyes, I never even knew why I hurt you in the first place. We would of been lucky if I could of been like Cosmo, and just kill the guy. I love you. I know you don't love me back. I just wa-"

I lifted the covers up. "Get in." I giggled as he leaped up and circled around the bed. He stripped down to his t-shirt and pants, and got under the covers with me.

"I love you."

"I love you too. But, like i said before, as a brother." I curled up into his side, and he put his arms around me.

"This feels so natural."

"Can I tell you a story?"

"Sure."

"Well, Sophie's dance that we danced to, was from a movie called Hedwig And The Angry Inch. It's about a man in East Berlin, who falls in love with an American GI, so he has a sex-change operation. But, it doesn't go to well, so he didn't get lady parts, but they took his man parts off. So, she took her mother's name, Hedwig, and is touring America after her husband left her. That part really isn't important. What is important, is knowing I'm so good with makeup, she showed me a song where his makeup is best. The song is called Origin of Love. And it says," I yawned, "that when the Earth begin there were three sexes. Two men smushed together, two women smushed together, and then a woman and a man smushed together But, the gods got scared, so Zeus split them up with lightning bolts. He left them there, searching for their other half, not knowing if it was a man..." I yawned again. "Or a woman. Or, in our case, their brother or... Sis..." But I fell asleep. I woke up to sunlight, and got up.

"Hello, beautiful. Can I ask you a question?"

I walked into my closet. "Sure." I felt around for my strapless frock with the psychedelic pattern on it.

"You were talking last might about some song... The Origin of Love?" I dropped my stockings.

"What about it?"

"Well, right before you fell asleep you said that they were left not knowing if their other half was a man or a woman, of in our case, brother and sister."

"What about it?"

"I'm a little confused." I fumbled around with my belt.

"Why? I stated we were meant to be together." I got my toothbrush and toothpaste off of my shelf, grabbed my clothes, and headed to the bathroom, he followed me.

"Yeah, that's the part I meant. If we were meant to be together, why aren't we? It makes no sense." He waited for me to finish.

"First of all, a lot of things don't make sense. There is murder, suicide, drug use, teen pregnancies, kidnapping, and we can't do anything about. But why don't we at least try? It doesn't make _sense_." I turned on the water, and undressed. "Second, we were together. But you blew it. Fuck!" I jerked my hand out of the water and turned it down some.

"So I assume this means your not going to give me a second chance?"

I stepped into the water now. "I did. You blew that one too, forcing me into a coma."

"A third chance?"

"Not likely. If I tried to go back, Columbia and Frank would most likely kill me." He laughed. "What?"

"Could I enlighten you?" I peeked my head out of the shower curtain so he could see me roll my eyes. "They want us to get back together. Why do you think Columbia brought you into the dark at the wedding? What do you think Frank and I talked about at the hospital when you were in the bathroom on the last day? Check the transducer history. I bet over half of them are me coming here, or Frank coming to the castle."

"They may want us together. But do I?"

"Do you?"

"I don't know... Do I?"

"Only you can answer that."

"I don't know... Do you want to get back together?"

"I would like to, yes." We sat through the rest of my shower in silence, until I got out, got dressed, and went to fix breakfast. "Do you not have anything to say?"

"I'm still trying to process it myself." I sat a plate of eggs down in front of him, and got him a glass of soy milk.

"Is that-"

"It's soy." I got the girl's turkey bacon and blueberry oatmeal ready, with glasses of orange juice, a glass of whole milk for Patricia, and a glass of soy milf for Pacifica. I got Frank's French toast ready, and I got Columbia some of the same, but with powdered sugar instead of syrup "MEAL TIME!" I woke Frank up, gave him his baby food, while the others ate.

"How are you doing all this?"

"You learn to live with feeding more then six people and one baby when guests are always over." Columbia giggled.

"That's me!"

"Where's Sydney and Frank?"

"Held up at the bar."

"When is she just going to turn into a man?"

"It takes time. And a lot of sewing."

"Eww." Frankie threw his food at me, but I ducked. "HAH! Never again, never again." Frankie giggled.

We ate for a moment, and Columbia stood up. "It seems I always have to do this." She sighed, and smiled at us. "Riff Raff, you're back. Again. And you're holding hands with Genta. AGAIN!"

"Yes, Columbia, but did you ever consider that this may just be a friendly display of affection like you and I have?" She glared at me.

"We got married."

"Me and Nation."

"You were going to get married."

"Frank and I."

"He raped you."

"Okay. Final offer. McKinley."

"He kept trying to feel you up."

"Don't remind me." I took Frank out of his highchair. "I think that's enough for you!" I took him to the bathroom to wash him up.

"No!"

"To bad!" He screamed, and splashed me with water, I was still smiling, even when my dressed was soaked. I got him clean, at least. We were both laughing as I dressed him.

"I wuve oou mummy."

"I love you too. But say love, love, love!" I tapped his nose, and he giggled.

"Love!"

"Very good!"

I took him back to our room, finished him, and realized him. I ran after him, and he had pulled himself up onto Columbia's lap. "Hey!"

"Cowwie!" He snuggled her.

"You're all clean today!" He snorted and shook his curly head. "No? Why not?"

"I don' wike bein' cwean!"

"Honey, you don't have a choice it's doctor day." I grabbed my purse, and his eyes widened, and he started screaming. Columbia and Riff Raff followed me, and we went down to the lobby. We got a cab, Columbia got in with Frank, I got in, and Riff just looked at us.

"In our out mister." The cabbie looked at him. I nodded, and he got in quickly.


	10. Chapter 10

"Frank Vitus?" Columbia scooped Frankie up, and followed me and the doctor.

"Riff." He got up and followed us in.

I kissed the doctor on both his cheeks, and we followed him in. We went to the Transylvanian section, and Doctor Hoover was waiting for us. "Magenta, Columbia! Who's this?"

"My brother."

"And Frankie here's father?"

"Yes, Mr..."

"Mrs."

"What?"

"I'm a woman. My name is Doctor Maria Hoover. My friends call me Mario."

"Okay... I'm-"

"Riff Raff. Yes, I know our old government, until you tried to kill Magenta."

"Yes... Could we get to Frank now?"

"Gladly." She gave him his check-up, and walked out to get the papers.

"How's your kids first check-up been?"

"Other then confusing the gender of the doctor? It sucked, because this is my third child, he's already three, and this is the first one of any of them."

"It's not that bad..."

"Yeah. I called her a Sr. the first time I saw her too."

"Why does she like you?"

"I never tried to kill Magenta. Did you really not know her?"

"No..."

"That was one of my guests in the hospital."

"I thought so. It was Courtney, her friend, who liked me."

"Maria never did like your backtalk, and glares, and sarcasm, and-"

"Okay Columbia. That's enough."

"No, let her go on Riffy."

"Well, she didn't like how he never left, how he never gave Maria and Courtney alone time with you, how he always was mean to them. But, topping over it all, she hated him because he got to you first."

"Those girls were sweet. How'd she end up in New York?"

"I don't know. Why don't you ask her?"

I laughed and winked at him, while she walked back in the room. "Okay. He's ready for the lab."

Frank gasped. "Mum! Did they make a man too?"

Maria looked like she was about to burst out laughing, Columbia looked sick, and I tried to come up with something. "Uh... I don't know. We'll go see!" I scooped him up, and lead Columbia and Riff out the door. He dropped his smiled and started screaming when he saw we weren't going to a lab like Frank's, but a lab as in where you take blood.

"I don't like needles!"

"He's your son..."

"Shut up." I hit him. They drew blood from Frank, after him almost biting a hole in a doctors leg, and they gave him stickers and a lolly-pop. We went back to the apartment, and I crawled out onto the deck with Columbia, the big Frank, and Sydney, who had gotten there after we left, and we were talking.

"I tell you, he was. I commented on it, he grabbed the lamp, and I ran to the bathroom." We were all sipping wine, peeking at the neighbours in the building across from us.

"i just can't see him in a dress!"

"He looked pretty damn hot." I smiled at Frank's comment and sipped my wine. "I mean, it wasn't either full on drag, or full on man, it was that creepy place in the middle. Like, a dress, but no wig or make-up. And he's halfway bald..." Frank cringed.

"Weird." Sydney looked at me. "I think we should celebrate though, on her possible going back to him."

"I don't think so. Just, brother and sister, not dating or married, or..." Mine and Columbia's eyes widened. We darted back in the window, and knocked on Sophie and McKinley's door. "Sophie!" She walked over to the door, robe half open, with a lot of cleavage. "You're turning into her!" Sophie blushed, and covered up.

"Yes?"

"I'm your mentor."

"Oh yeah. You know I like to clean, can't I just go back to bed?"

"Nope. You are mine for two years!"

"So, like I was for the fist eight years of my life with you guys?"

"Yes." She groaned, went into her room, and threw some clothes on.

"What do I have to do?"

"I don't know... Hmm... Let's go ask Frank." I dragged her back to my apartment, and dragged her out onto the deck. "Frank. What are mentors supposed to do?"

"Supposed to do? I don't know. She already knows her tick... Teach her to sing, lure people up here, give 'em to me." He licked his lips.

"Or, she could clean my apartment."

"Yeah, Sophie. First start with this one, then the one across the hall, then Sydney's."

"She can clean the bar if she wants, we're running out of help."

"Here that? You can clean where your mum hangs out!"

"A drag bar? Really Genta?"

"Yeah. I go there to support Frank and Sydney-"

"And she's in love with one of the regulars, Charles."

"I am not! I'm just good friends with him!"

"And you love him."

"No I don't! Okay, fine, he's cute, but he's not my type."

"Why not?"

"Because he likes men."

"I guess that would be a bit of a turn-off..." Columbia laughed, and I sat back down on my yoga ball.

"Go clean my room. It's a mess, I'm sorry. Riff is trying to spend some time with the girls, so don't clean the room right next to the bathroom."

"Yes ma'am."

We laughed and drank some more, until I was laying on the ground. "You know, I think you have a drinking problem."

"I only drink when I'm stressed out about something."

"Okay. You know what? This is the last time you're going to be able to drink, so drink as much as you want." I blacked out after a few more. I woke up, on the couch. Nude, with an open weave blanket draped on me, with my head on a pillow. The sun was up, I could tell that, so it wasn't the day I passed out. I sat up, and tried to keep everything inside the blanket. Columbia and a few other people were, no surprise on the deck. I wrapped it around me a few times, and went over to knock on the window. "Hey hon. I suggest you put on some proper clothes before I introduce you."

"Okay..." I yawned, went to my room, put a bra and some panties on, and a knee length dress. I sprayed a little perfume on, and walked out the door. I got to the window, flung it open, and stepped out. I ignored her guests, and walked over to her. "Did you give me hangover killer?"

"Nope. Well, on the first day, yeah, but you've been passed out on that couch for two days. We thought you were in another coma."

"So this is Magenta."

I turned to the new faces. I knew Richard, and Frank, but there were two new people here. "Hello. Columbia. Who are these people?"

"I would of thought you would recognize your sworn enemy." Columbia rolled her eyes. "Genta. You know Richard. These are our co-stars, Patricia Quinn and Tim Curry."

"Now, Genta, before Homicidal Genta pops out, and you bite her throat and throw her off the building, I've come to like Tim here, maybe you'll like Patricia." Patricia just widened her eyes, and looked off.

"Frank, you know me. I wouldn't kill her right now, I'd find out where she lives, hide in her closet, and kill her when she sleeps."

"Play nice Genta." I went and sat on my yoga ball, next to Patricia.

"So." I was breathless. "How are you?"

"I - I'm good."

"What a charming accent you have."

"Thank you..."

"I'm not really going to kill you. They just tease me as I threaten to." She was still just staring at me. "For the love of god woman loosen up!"

"I'm sorry, I'm just not used to death threats coming from a character I played."

"Oh, yeah! I couldn't remember why I wanted to kill you, you had such charisma!" She kind of backed away, and I rolled my eyes.

"Don't worry, she wanted to kill me at first, but now she's over it."

"No she's not Richard."

"Well, we're in the same boat then."

"Really? Why do you want to kill him?"

"I think I know the answer." Tim, Columbia, and Richard rolled their eyes.

"He stole my song!"

"I knew it!"

"What song?"

"Well, you know the song at the beginning?"

"Science Fiction Double Feature, yeah, I sang that all the time in the castle."

"Well, in the play, the usherette sang the song, and the usherette was always Magenta, who I played."

"Yeah, I figured."

She laughed a little. "But, in the movie, they liked the way he sang it, so they let him sing it. At the last minute, they pulled me aside and said, 'hey have you seen this painting? Well, we want it in Rocky.' So, they blacked out my face, screwed my head into a lamp, and those are my lips singing."

"No!"

"Yes!"

"You know, I can get some of that acid that dissolves bodies, kill 'em. No one but us will ever know."

"Very tempting... But I couldn't kill him."

"What if I kill him, and then you. Everyone wins!"

"We don't!"

"Okay. So I win. At least one person's happy!"

"And now everyone see's Magenta's character inspiration, and is left speechless. Columbia gets up, goes into the kitchen, and gets more water." She left. She came back with a pitcher and some glasses. "Columbia laughs and sits." She laughed, and sat.

"Magenta gets pissed at Columbia, looks how far down it is, stands up, and throws Columbia off." I stood up, and smiled.

"Sit down hon! It's been a while, I want to talk! How have you been, Patricia?"

"I'll get the wine."

"Stronger preferred..."

"I'm starting to like you."

"Sure. Bash on the lovely lady who got you all jobs, and having your face recognized by almost half the people on Earth."

"Two things. I think half of the people is an exaggeration, and Frank and I would be fine. You, as Columbia, would be fine too."

"I like Nell though! Her awesome voice, her killer legs, her co-stars! Come on! She met Pink Floyd!"

"I'd like that drink now..."

"Right away."

I mixed as many drinks as I could carry, and brought them out. "None for you Genta."

"Fine." I went and got some water, and we talked for a moment, Frank had settled in with Tim, Columbia had started talking to Patricia again, and once again, I was talking to Richard.

We were on the side closest to the wall, me on my ball and him in a real chair, next to the heater, because it was cold. "So, what do you think?"

"I like Pat. I never thought I would say this, but she's pretty." I took a sip of my water, on the rocks, to make it look as much like a drink as it could.

"She is, isn't she?"

"So," I turned to him, "what do you think?"

"About what?"

"I don't know. Me, our apartment, Frank? Frank Jr?"

"I've known you for three years, the apartment is beautiful, Frank is exactly like Columbia described him, and Frank Jr is very cute."

"Thank you. I worked very hard on him."

"Please. I visited you in the hospital when you were awake, besides attaching him to your breast, that's all you acknowledged him." He was almost cut off but the phone ringing. "I'll get it."

I walked in the house, and answered the phone. "Magenta?"

"Yeah, hello Nation."

"Could you take Scarlet for a little while? Her sitter cancelled, and it's the third date night."

"Naked day?"

"You bet." She laughed a little.

"Yeah, I can take her."

"Good. I'll send her in the transducer."

"Okay. Bye."

"Bye." We hung up, and I stuck my head out of the window. "Scarlet's coming. It's naked day and the sitter cancelled " Columbia was the only one that didn't look at me like I was mad.

"Shame. Where's the girls?"

"I think they're at Sophie's."

"No. Lori took them, giving them a makeover."

"Oh God." I walked across the hall, and opened their door, which everyone had a key to. "Lori?" I walked into her bedroom, and sure enough, she was there, and the girls were in curlers. "Take those out of their hair, Scarlet's coming over."

"Is it the third date night?"

"Yeah." Pat took the curlers out of her hair, and helped Ciffa.

"Wait!"

"I'm sorry, but our step sister slash cousin needs us." I laughed, and I led them out the door. We waited in the living room, until we felt the tingling. I walked into the bathroom, with a pen, to sign the contract Nation always makes us sign. I took her bags, signed the papers,and took them outside, because Nation always makes all adults present sign.

"Columbia!" I handed the papers to her, while everyone looked at us. "Oh, I need you guys to sign this. It's just an agreement from Nation saying we can't kill Scarlet or anything, we can't feed her food she doesn't approve of, things like that."

"Nation McKinley?"

"Yeah. I believe you played her too."

"Yeah. I did. How is she?"

"She's very well, thank you."

"Her character seemed very..."

"Interesting."

"Yes. I did like the songs and the outfits though. I had so many people come up to me and say, 'that isn't what Magenta sounds like, you're not Patricia,' and it got better after Shock Treatment." Columbia passed the agreement to Richard, who signed it, and passed it to Frank.

"So. I heard Scarlet was named after me."

"No, Tim, you played Wadsworth, and Scarlet was a whole other person." Frank passed the papers to Tim.

"But, admit it, you liked the movie."

"I never said I didn't." She smiled, and Tim passed the papers to Patricia.


	11. Chapter 11

We sat talking for a few hours, until an alarm went of in Collie's bag. "Oh! Bye you guys, this is it!"

"What?"

"Matilda Violet Roche, if I have sex with Eamonn tonight, by my calculations, Tilda will be conceived."

"Okay. Weird calculations aside, I wish you the best of luck."

"Me too."

"How abut we toast to it?"

"No. Don't let Genta drink. Goodbye, I love all of you!" She climbed back in the window, bringing her chair in with her.

"So. How does she know she's going to have a kid?" I pulled my blanket tighter around me, because the sun was setting.

"Her foster child married someone from the future, he told her she had a daughter."

"Nice." So, we would always be out on the deck. Columbia got pregnant, and Tim, Patricia, and Richard, if they weren't busy, always came with her. New Years was quickly coming, and we had invited everyone. Frank's friends, people from the bar, Nation, Cosmo, Nell, Ricky, Janet, Sonny, the other Sonny, the shadow cast, Sophie, McKinley, Patricia, Richard, Tim, and Riff Raff.

I sighed. Columbia, Tim, Richard and Patricia were already here, and were trying to comfort me. "So, who are you going to kiss?"

"Oh, god! I forgot! Could I kiss one of you?"

"No..."

"I don't think so..."

"Maybe." Richard winked, and I rolled my eyes.

"Always!" Columbia kissed me on the cheek.

"Who's Riffy going to kiss?"

"Ansalong."

"Why?"

"I think they'd be cute."

"Oh! I have a better idea. Magenta, you kiss Cosmo, and Riff kisses Nation!"

"No!"

"Fine. You kiss Nation, Cosmo kisses Riff."

"Columbia, if I have to explain the mirror thing again..." She laughed, and we continued setting up the party, while the guests usual, I wasn't allowed to drink, so instead of dancing nude, I was sitting with my back to most of the action. Finally, at eleven fifty nine, I was miserable. They started counting down, and I made my way to the kitchen, to see if I could smuggle something when Columbia was kissing Eamonn. I leaned on the island, as they cheered, and someone tapped me on the shoulder. I turned around, and before I knew it, they had my face in their grasp, and kissed me. They let me go as everyone cheered, and it wasn't Riff.

It was Sydney. And I looked for Riff, he was gaping at us. I pushed Sydney away, and walked over to him. He walked out the door. "Go away."

"Riff! She kissed me!" He spun around, with a look of utter calmness on his face.

"I just need to cool down. I just... Need to cool..." But he walked away. I went back into the party. I found Bri, and pulled him to my room.

"What's wrong hon?"

I laid down beside him, like usual when I was sad. "Sydney kissed me, and Riffy saw, and then he got mad, and then he said he needed to cool off. And... And..." I started to bawl.

"Aww, it's okay." He hugged me. "He'll be back. They always come back. Especially to you, you have real boobs, not implants."

"You'll find a nice man. Or get the surgery, and then find a nice man."

"Thank you." He smiled. "Do you think you'll get back with him?"

"I want to... But I don't think I can."

"Why not?"

"Well, he tried to kill me once, and then he put me into a coma, not to mention all the times where nothing drastic happened, but he would still get mad, and verbally abuse me, and sometimes hit me."

"He... He doesn't sound good."

"But, today, he said he needed to cool off... That's progress, right?"

"I suppose. You might want to ask Columbia or Frank though. Frank and Nation have told me I give shitty advise."

"I don't think you do. But, someone will find me missing, and look in here."

"And now we wait." I almost fell asleep before Columbia and Eamonn came in.

"Bri. Where's Riff?"

"Genta said he went out to take a break."

I sat up. "But, I don't think he came back yet, so he'll have to come back sooner or later."

"Okay. Well, Pat, Richard, Tim, Nation, Nell, and Cosmo are here. Sonny Janet and Frank are on the deck."

"I'll go talk to 'em." I walked out to Pat and them. Columbia sat next to pat, and I sat in-between Pat and Richard. I'd not hated them as much as I thought I did, we had made pretty good friends. Pat, as usual, was a little more then tipsy.

Columbia and Pat were as always in their own little world. "Okay... You remember when... We were in that car, with Rik, and I said it had been eight years, and you asked if you were that old?"

"Yeah..."

"It had been eight years in eighty-one... It's ninty-eight now... i don't want to do any math, but we're older now."

"But you're still young. I'm ten years older then you!"

"I have one. I still remember you calling me a bastard, the _first_ time, when I stole your song." Richard smiled at them.

"You did!"

"I have one." We looked at Tim. "Oh! Yeah. Patricia got bruises humping the set."

"Is it bash on Patricia day?"

She smiled at me. "Thank you!"

"I mean really, the former Bunny should have respect!" She stared at me. "I'm sorry. This is just the proper payback from Nation and I."

"I like her. She has a good voice, she's pretty, I think she does me justice."

"Well, I think it should be bash on Nell night."

"What did I do?" I smiled in response to Ansalong.

"Not you, hon. She means me. Take your best shot Pat."

"Nipples."

"It was an accident."

"Rocky, Do The Swim, that Nerida girl-"

"That one I was paid to do."

Pat leaned over to me. "She was always a flasher, that girl."

"Tell me about it. But, I got to hook up with her. I win."

She pulled away. "Really?"

"Really what?"

"She doesn't think we hooked up."

"Oh yeah. Now would be a good time to tell you guys. I've been married to a woman." She smiled, and sipped her water.

"What!"

"Nell!" But, Tim smiled, it was Patricia who had expressed the most shock.

"Yeah... It's a little surprising..."

"No it's not!"

"It is when I'm pregnant!"

"Well, I still believe you two were married. You complain abut us being loud, Ansalong, Genta's a screamer, Columbia just goes, 'oh god, oh god,' and laughs."

"Well, you and Cosmo are ones to talk! Comso's worse then I am!"

"What you guys are witnessing is real incest. They're cousins, Magenta and Nation were going to get married, Cosmo and Nation still do it, Riff and Genta are on a break, the real Nell is married, has a little boy named Adam, to Ricky."

"So, out of all of us, your character was the one who turned out normal?"

"Looks like it! But what about who I really am?"

"Lets see, you were married to another woman, abused, sold three stories to Richard, hid a completely different life, and got pregnant by your ex-boyfriend slash business partner who happens to be eleven years younger then you."

"Okay. So my life has been a _little _weird." We all laughed.


	12. Chapter 12

We ended up staying up until Riff came back. I practically pounced on him when he came back.

"Where were you?"

"I went to cool off, but I decided to get you something." He pulled a little box out of his pocket, and turned me around. He put a necklace around me, and I could feel the silk. Columbia squeaked, and ran and hugged me. She dragged me to the bathroom, and showed me the necklace in the mirror. It was beautiful, a thick, black ribbon, and a single, silver pendent, with black diamonds, and a blood red ruby.

"Columbia?"

"Yes?" She put her head on my shoulder, and I looked into her eyes in the mirror.

"This looks like my engagement ring, or am I just seeing things?"

"That's what it looks like!" She let in sink in for a little bit, and a puzzled look drew up on her face. "What do you think he's trying to say?"

"I don't know..."

"Is it engraved or anything?"

"Good idea!" I reached under it, and I could feel a pattern. I flipped it up so Columbia could read, and she turned her head upside down.

"My dearest sister, it meant a whole lot more then I let on. Riffy. Aww!" She squeaked.

"You don't even know what that means!"

"I know." She frowned. "But I'm pregnant and lonely."

"Look at it this way. It hurts like hell to give birth. But it hurts even more not to see the baby. Scarlet, she knows she's yours, but you still hardly ever see her any more. Matilda, you will keep, and get to see everyday, and get to experience the pain of sore, cracked nipples." She laughed.

"Looking forward to that nipple part." She laughed again. "I do have a question for you. What if... I started to look like Nell, full time. You'll still call me Columbia and things like that, but I look like Little Nell. How does that sound?"

"What does she look like?"

"Here. Why don't we go visit the shadowcast? I'm sure they would love to see us." We typed in the code for Chloe's, and vanished.

"Hello? Chloe?"

"Magenta?" Her father came into the bathroom. "Oh, hello! It's Saturday."

"It is, isn't it?"

I laughed. "Well, happy new year to you guys."

"Thank you! You're more polite then your daughter." He smiled.

"Speak of the devil..." We heard a car pull up.

"Well, nice seeing you."

"Nice seeing you too!"

We walked towards the front door. "Magenta!" Chloe teetered over, and hugged us. "How are you doing?"

"We're doing good, how are you?"

"Good, good. Why'd you come here so late?"

"Well, back in New York, we just had our New Years party, and Columbia wanted to see if she should be Nell full time, I didn't know what she looked like, so she suggested that we should look up some pictures here."

"Okay, yeah we can do that." The rest of the cast followed her in, and I was passed from each set of arms. We finally made it to the end of the everlasting line of people, and we made our way down the stairs. Chloe had a video pulled up on her computer. "I hope you don't mind, but Patricia is scattered in with her."

"No, that's fine, I've come to like her."

"What? And you didn't get me an autograph?"

"I felt the same way when she said she knew Ringo, now shh!"

She pressed pay on the video, and I was liking what she looked like. We were almost to the end, when Columbia freaked out. "Wait! Go back..." She did, and there was a picture of Nell, with a little girl on her shoulder. "I - Is that..."

"Matilda Violet Roche."

"She - She's beautiful..." She cried for a little while, ogling the picture, while I told the rest of them how McKinley and Sophie were doing. "Okay. So," Columbia turned around, "how do you like Nell?"

"She's pretty." I smiled at Chloe. "But I wanted to see something." Chloe went and plugged her computer into her television and went to a website. She pulled up something that said 'Do The Swim (London Weekend Show)', and Columbia groaned.

"No!"

"Come on! It'll be fun."

"Yes, staring at my breasts when they were still that perky."

"Eww."

"It happens to everyone!"

"Not to Meghan."

"You have a really good point. Maybe these aren't a curse." She laughed, and Chloe started the video.

"Sing for us, Nell!" I winked.

"No! I don't want to!" I glared at her for a good thirty seconds. "Fine!" She stood up, and started to sing, and almost match the actions on the screen. "So come with me, ya' gotta look cute, and get all decked out in a trim swimsuit, rush to tha' pool and dive right in, come up for air and then you start to swim." She sat back down on the bed, and waited until she flung her shoes off, and turned away. "I don't remember when it is, but I know it's after this."

"Okay, I think it's... Oh! There they are! Poor you!" I rubbed her on the back.

"No, wait, there's more." She kept on having to pull it up, but it kept slipping. I was laughing all the time. "Hey... Wait... You can just get this video anywhere?"

"Yeah."

"So 'Tilda could be looking at it right now?"

"I don't see why she would be, but yes."

"Interesting. I'll have a talk with her to steer clear of her mum's tits." We chatted more and more, until about six in the morning, when we decided to leave. We hugged, and got back in the transducer. We got out, and we laid down on the couch. She yawned, and I turned on the telly. I kissed her forehead, and went to my room. I smiled, and turned and walked to Frank, tucked him in, and turned to my bed.

"Did you not leave?"

"No, I couldn't miss on what you had to say," he purred.

"The necklace?"

"No, the fish."

I rolled my eyes, and sat down. "You mean the writing on the back."

"Bingo."

"Well, I don't really understand."

"Simple. The kiss between you and I meant a lot more to you, and the kiss between you and that dirty tranny meant a lot more to me."

"Why would it?"

"I was under the impression that we were getting back together."

"I don't know. Do you see a future for us?"

"Yes."

"How has your answer changed since I left the hospital?"

"That was just a stupid, spur of the moment-"

"But you said yourself you can't change."

"I lost my cool, and I went out, got some fresh air, got you something, and now I'm back here, calm as ever."

"Maybe."

"Maybe?"

"I'll give you until Halloween. Then you can prove that you can change, and go with me, Frank, the cast, Frankie, Columbia, Tilda, the girls, Sophie, McKinley, Janet, and Sonny, or stay home and celebrate at the castle, by yourself."

"That many people?"

"We'll do what we did last year. Trick or treat in the building, drop everyone under eighteen off, and then go to the bar."

"Wow... Okay." I yawned. "Well, it looks like someone needs to sleep." He kissed my temple, where the scar was. I sighed, Once again, it felt natural. _Too _natural. I fell asleep soon after that, and woke up to him gone.

"Fuck." I got up, put on my robe, realized I hadn't changed, and went into my closet. I changed into a shirt, a jacket, and a pair of pants. I grabbed the hamper, got the detergent, woke Collie up, and we went down to the laundry room. She groaned. "Did you see Riff go last night?"

"Oh? I'm sorry, I didn't."

"Eh... I gave 'em 'till Halloween to shape up." She laughed, and rolled her eyes. And it was like that most everyday, I was by her side, until June, where the last day came up I had an excuse to be.

She liked this much better then birth on Transexual. She could eat ice chips, and most importantly, he drugs. She might of told some people she wanted a natural birth, but everyone says that. Until they go into labour.

To Matilda Violet Roche, I can not call Columbia by her real name, but Nell. She wants her to be known as her mum, not a role she played.

"But Nell is a role. You were born Columbia."

"To her, I was born Laura."

"So... You're just Nell now?"

"Around her."

"So, in theory, I'm not her stepmother?"

"I never thought of that... Have you ever been a godmother?"

"So that's how its going to work? You're the godmother to Pat, Ciffa, and Frankie, and I'm the godmother to Tilda?"

"That's what it looks like." She laughed a little.

"Okay Mrs. Campbell..."

"Miss."

"Right. Let's see if she'll do it this time."

She pulled her tit out. "Oh! Alright."

"Like you haven't seen them before."

"Well not with a baby stuck to them!"

"It doesn't look like she's taking them."

"Here." I walked over, and pressed the spot on the back of her head, and she took it. Well, it just gets the baby to open their mouth, but the baby usually takes it.

"How'd you do that?"

"Old secret." She still looked up at me in amazement.

"Rest." I kissed her forehead.


	13. Chapter 13

And, soon enough, it was Halloween. Pat was a bride, Ciffa was a cat, Frankie was kitten, on a leash, being dragged around by her. Columbia scraped up her old tailcoat and tap shoes and went as herself. I busted out my French maid's dress, and dressed fully. Frank found his old corset and garter belt, and went as himself. Sophie went as Audrey, McKinley went as Seymour. The shadowcast came in the transducer, well, Columbia went and got them, and we were almost ready to go. I was too busy helping get Tilda in her tiny gown... I didn't feel the transducer tingle, and I didn't hear him creep up behind me, and put his hands over my eyes. I turned around, and he was wearing his butler's uniform.

"Am I good?"

"Yeah. Yeah you are." I hugged him. "As friends."

"Siblings?"

"Even better." I got her in the gown, and she laughed. I carried her out to Columbia, who squeaked.

"She's adorable!"

"Glad you think so, she's yours." She laughed, and we were out the door. After a few hours, we dropped the children off, and went to the bar. Frank and I walked in first, followed by a halfway confident Columbia, and a freaked out Riff.

"Chyna!" Frank and I hugged her. "How are you?"

"Good. Sucks to be working on Halloween." Riff's eyes widened when he heard her deep voice. Seeing that, she walked over to him, and laughed. "Brother?"

"Yeah."

"Well, he's not my kind of guy, but I think I'll work something out..." She winked.

"Take it easy. I don't think he's been with a guy." We all laughed except for Riff, and were sat at our usual table. "The usual. For him too." We all agreed.

He put on his most manly voice. "I think I'll have a beer, actually."

"Riff." I put my hand on his. "They can tell you're straight." I looked up at Chyna. "He'll have what we're having." She chuckled, and walked away.

Frank played with the lamp. "Sucks Syd had to work tonight."

"And Bri." Riff and Columbia picked up a menu.

"Well, it is Halloween. All the freaks are coming out tonight."

"_Literally_."

He started laughing. "Write that one down, I think that's the most clever thing you've ever said, Columbia." The show started pretty soon after we got our drinks. Bri came out.

"Hello, welcome, welcome. New York! I love it. Especially Queens." The audience laughed. "Well, I see some regulars and irregulars tonight."

"Oh yeah," I whispered, "if he doesn't know you, he'll come talk with you."

"What?"

"Oh, look at that. Someone's rowdy." Bri walked down to us, Frank and I were grinning at him, Columbia was watching him like a hawk. "So, your name?"

She took a second to figure out the microphone was towards her face. "Oh, my name's Columbia."

"Columbia, nice name. Meaning dove, I believe?"

"Uh... Yes, that's right."

He moved over to Riff. "And you might be?"

"Riff Raff... Ma'am."

"Well, isn't that a hoot. Would you know, by chance, Frank Furter, who just decided not to go to work today?" He glanced at Frank, and I laughed.

We stayed at the show for hours, all of which we awkward for Columbia and Riff, and we headed home.

Columbia got Tilda, and left with the shadowcast. Sophie and McKinley went back to their apartment, I got the girls and Frank in bed, and big Frank went to take a shower. I stood at the door with Riff, because Frank had forgotten he had to use it to leave. I hugged him. "Goodnight. I love you."

"Love you too." He kissed on my cheek, and I went to my room, closed the door, and leaned up against it.

_What am I doing?_


	14. Kind-Of Epilogue

Columbia spent the rest of her life as Nell, and Matilda never has figured out, to this day.

Nell and Ricky moved back to South Africa, where Ricky was from, and live in Nation and Cosmo's old house, with their three children, Adam, Columbia, and Madeline.

Nation and Cosmo had another child, Lucinda, and moved back to Bisexual, where they were welcomed with not-so-open arms by their mother.

Frank ended up getting married, who would ever guess? To Janet Weiss, for fuck's sake! They ended up buying a lovely house just outside of Denton.

Sonny ended up having a child with Kitten, who they named Sandra, and Sonny has her part-time in the castle, and takes her to visit her grandparents.

The other Sonny had an accident, and was pronounced dead the 9th of November, at 4:57 pm.

Sophie and McKinley had a child six days after Sophie turned eighteen, Alexander, and still live in the apartment next to Frank and my old one.

Riff Raff and I, you ask? Well, nothing to tell.

I moved back into the castle as Sonny's full time cook. I have a different room then Riff, Frank has his own room, and the girls share a room.

Frank is, currently, being mentored by Sonny.

Patricia, and no one believes this when I tell them, is married to Sonny. That's right. The bitch who takes too much after her mother is queen!

Pacifica is engaged to some boy named Dai, and she is obsessed with the Japanese culture.

There is nothing going on between Riff and I. We don't even do our hand signal any more.

We all still beam to Columbia, and Richard, and Patricia, and Tim sometimes, the girls love him. Frank Jr. loved The Wild Thornberrys while he was growing up, and he still makes Tim do the Nigel voice.

Sydney and Bri still work at the bar, neither one of them have been in a serious relationship. But...

_You want to know a secret?_

This is real. All the rest of these, fake. Truly "fan-fiction". I took excerpts from Columbia's _real_ diary, and typed it. Nation, Cosmo, Nell, Janet, Frank, and Riff Raff gave me personal experiences of theirs, and I wrote them. So, if you see 'Little Nell,' call her Columbia. See if she turns around, and then denys it. If you happen to be in New York, and see a young couple, a short-ish blonde lady, and someone that looks like a red-haired hippie, that's my step-daughter and son-in-law. If you see a man, who is either wearing make-up, or is in full drag, with a deflated black afro, that's Frank, or Sonny.

And if you ever, _ever, _are in Sydney, look out. That's where 'Nell' and Matilda are. So if you see an older lady, with red and gray frizzy hair, two twenty something year olds, one blonde, one red-headed, and a teen, no older then nineteen, with short, red, curly hair, a girl not older then twelve, with brown hair, don't say anything. Just walk up to us, find me, and put your hands out, palms down, and I will know what to do. Don't hound for an autograph, just be on your way. If they're are other people around. I'd sign something, if I'm not that bothered. But, if you see a blading man with them, nod in his direction, but that's all. Don't do the hand signal or anything, for me? _Or should I say for your sake?_


	15. Epilogue

_**The Real Epiloge**_

* * *

The Christmas after Sonny died, Janet was distraught. She sat crying, toward the chimney, waiting for Sonny to pop out of the fireplace. Frank had his arm around her when we walked down the stairs from the upstairs bathroom. Frank Jr. was fifteen, the girls were twenty-six. We crept down the stairs with Sonny, and we sneaked up on Janet. "Oh!" She turned and smiled. "How are you guys?"

"Good, honey, how are you?"

"Oh, I'm... Dealing with it. How's Columbia? Er... Nell?"

"She's not as bad as you are, I imagine. But she's still crying like a baby." She chuckled. "She couldn't make it today, I'm sorry."

"And she's not..." She looked over at the fireplace.

"Oh, God, no honey, I couldn't do that to you." I sat down on the pristine white couch, with the pink pillows, and the pillows with the UK flag on it.

"It means a lot that you came. And to prove that, we had and extra space..." She grabbed me by the hand, and took me outside. She took me into a small hallway. "Close your eyes. Or you know what, Frankie, I can't trust her, put your hands over her eyes!" She opened a door, and an overwhelming sent of sweet spices hit me. "We didn't put any windows or lights in... Just candles." Frank took his hands over my eyes. I saw a beautiful room, with blood red candles burning in the corner, giving the room a beautiful glow. The bed was black and red, the sofa was too, and there was a black coffee table near another door, with a bowl full of red, shiny, wax apples. I smiled.

"What's that door?" They led me into it, and there was three beds, one for Frank, a normal bed, and two beds that were off the ground. Pat's had a guitar and a chair under it, Richard had taught her how to play guitar, and she loved it. Ciffa's had some Japanese furniture under it. I could tell everyone loved it, and I went back into my room. I sat down on the couch, and breathed in the sent.

"Hey." Frank sat down beside me. "Merry Christmas."

"Thanks."

"How are you?"

"Single. Bitchy. Lonely. Getting gray. OLD!" I started to cry a little. "I was married... But I ruined it."

"No, you didn't."

"Yes, I did! I was the one who said divorce in the first place and I was the one who wouldn't do anything." I reached my hand up to my neck, and felt the necklace he got me. I hadn't taken it off in a long time. Janet sat down beside me.

"It's okay honey. Everything will be all right." She rubbed my back.

The girls came out, and Pat and Ciffa were quickly at my feet. Ciffa's hair was back in a loose ponytail, and Pat's was like mine always used to be. Ciffa took my hand, and Pat spoke. "Mum. Really, it's okay. You'll get over Riff Raff." I burst out laughing.

"It's been eighteen _fucking_ years, Pat! And you still won't call him your father."

"He's tried to kill you twice! He put you in a coma once, you've bumped into doors countless times!"

"Magenta... Bumped into doors?"

"Janet, why don't you show the girls and Frankie around?" She nodded, and hearded them all out.

"Magenta! You never told us about that!" I got up, and went over to the candles.

"I'm good with makeup, I can cover it up."

"We wouldn't even try to get you two back together if we knew that."

I shrugged. "That would of been best." He got up, and kissed me on the nose.

"That's enough from you." He led me back to the common room. We ate, and went for gifts. Ciffa put on an elf hat, and passed out the gifts.

"Wait!" We all looked at Sonny.

"Right." She winked at him. "Here, Pat, you get the first gift." She pulled out a small gift, and my breath hitched in my throat. I looked at Janet, and she knew what it was too. She squealled, and I started crying.

"Ignore them Pat, this one is from me." He looked into her eyes, as he tugged the ribbon on it. He took the top off, and pulled out a small, red velvet box. She gasped, and Janet and I started crying louder.

"We're so old!" Janet laughed a little, but went back to crying.

"Patricia Vitus, will you marry me?" Ciffa smiled at her sister, and went and sat with Frank.

Pat nodded. "Yes! Of course!" She kissed him as he slipped the ring on her finger. She got a good chance to settle down as the other gifts were passed out. "Mum... This looks like your ring."

"It is."

"What?"

"Well, your father gave Sonny your hand, and I gave him the ring. I just didn't know he was going to propose tonight."

"And does Sandra know?"

"Yes, and she's in love with you. She loves having the idea of you being her mother."

"Huh." She smiled, like she does only rarely. "When is she coming over with Kitten?"

"Any minute now." We waited until the always perky six year old came with her mother.

She ran down the stairs, and Kitten came down almost as fast. "Let me see your hand!" Pat showed her, and they both squeaked. They had become pretty good friends.

Sandra ran over to Janet. "Auntie Janet!"

"Auntie?"

"Yes, Auntie." She smiled at me. "I'm young enough to be an Auntie."

"Yeah. To Sonny." She laughed.

"We _are_ really old." Sandra ran over to Sonny, and hugged him.

"I should call Riff." I walked over to the bar, and took out my phone. I dialled him, and he picked up.

"Magenta?"

"HE DID IT!"

"What?"

"Sonny proposed to Patricia!"

"That's good. But let's wait until Ciffa gets engaged until I freak out, so I can get a reaction that's not 'I will stab you in your sleep.' Sounds better to me." I laughed.

"Pat!" She ran over here, and I stuck the phone to her ear.

"Hello?" He spoke. "Oh, Riff Raff. I suppose mum told you, I am engaged. It mean a lot for you to give him my hand." I smiled at her. "We would love for you to attend the wedding." She smiled. "Goodbye." And handed the phone back to me.

"Hello?"

"She seems excited."

"She really is. Sandra loves her too."

"That's good."

"How is it possible that you are so far away, yet we both live in the palace?"

"I don't talk to you guys, only Ciffa talks to me."

"Well, when you say it like that I feel bad!"

We laughed. "Bye Genta. Love you."

"Love you too. Goodbye." I smiled, and hung up. I walked back over to Janet, and put my arm around her. Looked like I was going to have a sister. We smiled at each other, both liking that idea.

* * *

Author's note: Mama, just killed a man. Put a gun against his head, pulled my trigger, now he's dead. Mama, life had just begun, but now I've gone and thrown it all away. Mama, ooh, didn't mean to make you cry. If I'm not back again this time tomorrow- Carry on, carry on, as if nothing really matters.

Too late, my time has come. Sends shivers down my spine, body's aching all the time. Goodbye everybody - I've got to go, gotta leave you all behind and face the truth. Mama, ooh. I don't want to die. I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all...

(I don't know what else to say. For the last time... Cheers.)


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